No Matter What
by audr3y
Summary: When Anya moves to Echo Village to run her own farm, she really doesn't know what to expect. Probably not a mysterious man that likes to wear dresses and has a one or two secrets of his own. She slowly starts falling for him, and he has no idea how to accept her love. She needs to teach him that it's okay to be loved, no matter what the circumstances. Rated M for later chapters.
1. A New Beginning

**A/N:** Hey, it's me! I'm back! This is probably the worst time to start a new story, but isn't that usually when I start my stories? I'll admit, it could be a while before it's finished, but I already have a pretty good idea of where it's going. Also, Soseki will be a bit OOC, just to warn you. I'm not so crazy about how immature he is, despite the fact that he is apparently really old. So that will change, please don't be mad!

I will be starting the story as if someone else had already come along and unlocked all the villagers, so everyone will be moved in and all the land will be there. I hope you enjoy, and, as usual, your reviews are very much appreciated :)

I had been in Echo Village for a couple weeks already. I was still getting used to the way things worked around here, it was quite different from the industrial farm I was used to in the city. A lot more manual labour, but it was paying off. I was surprised at the amount of muscle I've already put on since my arrival.

I was focussing mainly on crops, at least until I had enough money to buy livestock. Neil had already stopped by with a cow and Rod had taught me how to build a bee hut and I had since built four and filled them with bees.

I wasn't used to doing everything on my own. My responsibilities were mainly focussed on caring for livestock, so it was interesting how taking care crops was turning out, especially since I found out that I was actually good at it.

Once I had figured out how to budget my time, I started wandering the village and foraging for herbs and berries. I was trying to get the villagers better. I had met them all when I moved in, but I had been so busy when I first started that I didn't have much time to spend with them, and for that, I felt guilty.

However, I was starting to make friends with Iroha and Tina. They were both so friendly and open and they knew what it was like to be on your own in a strange village.

This particular afternoon, I was hanging out with Iroha in the forest. She was showing me which herbs were good and which were poisonous.

"This is mint." She stooped down to pick a small plant from the ground. So far, I have yet to be able to tell the difference between the different plants she was showing me. "You can make it into a tea and use it for indigestion. Or you can just chew it raw for bad breath."

I laughed. She grinned.

"Someday, Anya, you will be glad I told you that." She said. He took my hand and placed the mint in it. I shoved it in my pocket with the rest of the herbs. At least I would be able to tell the difference between that one from the smell.

"What are you fine young ladies laughing at?" A male voice called somewhat suavely from behind us. We both turned.

"That's not really any of your business, Allen." Iroha replied.

From the short time I knew Allen, I knew he was a huge flirt and a bit of a womanizer, if I believed the stories he told everyone.

"Say, do you girls want to join me for dinner at the restaurant?" He came over and placed his arms around our shoulders. Iroha and I simultaneously brushed his hands away.

"That's okay, Iroha's going to teach me how to cook with some of these herbs." I answered, taking a small step away from Allen. "But I'm sure if you asked Felicity, she'd be happy to join you."

If there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that Felicity could not control her blush whenever Allen was around, whether or not she wanted to admit it.

"I don't see why I can't tag along with you guys." He persisted. I rolled my eyes. It was true that guys could be extremely clueless in some cases.

"I believe the girls have already said 'no'." Another voice joined the discussion.

It was Soseki. I didn't know much about him. He didn't really seem to have any sort of plan for his life, except to enjoy it. I liked his attitude, I wished I had the courage to be so carefree.

"Whatever." Allen backed away. "Maybe I _will_ go and see what Felicity is up to."

"Ladies." Soseki nodded and continued on his way.

"What a weird guy." Iroha mused as soon as he was out of earshot.

"Soseki?" I asked.

"Yeah, he just wanders, doesn't really make any effort to get to know anyone, it's kind of creepy." She went on. I shrugged.

"Maybe he's just shy." I offered.

"And he dresses so weird! He's the only guy I know who wears a dress." She said.

"I don't really care, maybe it's more comfortable for him." I shrugged.

"Maybe..." Iroha answered. "Anyway, come on, I'll show you how to make chicken with these."

With that, we made our way out of the forest and towards my house.

A couple days later, I had settled myself by the river in the furthest part of the forest from the village. It was nice to spend time with the villagers, but I also found that it was nice to get away. Plus, I was hoping to catch some good fish for dinner.

I already had a pretty decent and even started to lose track of time when I heard soft footsteps on the path. I turned my head to see who was there.

"Hey, Soseki." I called to him. "What's up?"

"Why, hello Anya." He stopped and turned to face me. "I'm just out enjoying a walk. At my age, you begin to appreciate the fresh air and nature."

I laughed. "What do you mean, at your age? You can't possibly be that old!"

His cheeks darkened, "I'd rather not say."

"Suit yourself." I grinned at him. Maybe I would start to crack the mystery that was Soseki. I knew none of the villagers really talked to him, they left him alone, and he left everyone else alone. But still, I knew from experience that it was no fun being alone. I couldn't see any harm coming from me being nice to him.

I almost dropped my rod when I felt a tug on the other end, I hadn't been paying attention. I gripped it with both hands and started reeling the fish in. It was strong, whatever it was. I got on my knees to pull a bit better. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Soseki was slowly making his way closer to me. With one last big tug, the fish flopped out of the water and onto the ground beside me.

"Impressive." Soseki nodded in approval as I removed the hook from the fish. "What kind of fish is that?"

"I don't know, hopefully a yummy one." I grinned. He laughed.

"Do you spend a lot of time fishing?" He asked.

"When I can." I answered. "It's peaceful out here, and fish is really good for you."

"I agree." He replied. "Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to continue on my stroll."

"You're welcome to stay here with me." I offered. I don't know why I said it. I barely knew the guy. But I guess I did want to get to know him better. He was intriguing.

"That's okay." He turned back to the path and waved. "Have a good afternoon, Anya."

I waved back. "You too."

I turned back to my fishing, all thoughts of the conversation leaving my mind.


	2. After Dark

"I'm so bored!" Tina exclaimed suddenly. I looked up from the book I was reading.

We were in her house. It was late at night, but neither of us really felt like going home. She was working on the next issue of the weekly newspaper. Or, at least, she had been a couple minutes ago.

"Oh?" I asked. I really didn't know what else to say. I had been so intrigued in the romance novel I was reading. I usually wasn't one for novels, but my lack of a romantic life had me craving them.

"There's never anything interesting going on in the village." She went on. "What am I supposed to write about?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, you can be creative." I suggested.

She sighed. "Do you have anything for the gossip column?"

"Nope." I answered and turned back to my novel.

"Are you sure?" She prodded, getting up from her desk chair and flopping down on the couch next to me.

"Positive." I closed the book and set it aside. It would just have to wait until I was alone again.

"I guess there really isn't anything good going on at the moment." She mused. "No one's dating, no one's getting married... hey! What about you? Any guys here caught your eye yet? Off the record, of course! Just between us."

I blinked. She was sitting up so straight, her eyes wide and curious.

"...No?" I answered.

"I don't believe you." She grinned. I laughed.

"Well, I hate to break it to you, I really don't have a crush on anyone." I said. She sighed again and slumped back into the couch.

"I guess that's fair, you've only been here three weeks." She mumbled. "But I swear, guys here are clueless. You should try not to get a crush on any of them."

"Oh?" I repeated. Now it was my turn to sit up a bit and stare at her.

"Well, I guess it's obvious who I like." She replied.

"Obviously not, because I have no clue who it is." I grinned. Her cheeks went dark.

"Guess." She said.

"I actually have no idea." I told her. Her cheeks went darker.

"Then I guess I'm just better at hiding it than I thought I was! Guess!" She was sitting up again, a small smile playing at her lips.

"Um... Neil?" I started.

"Pfft, no way! He's too grumpy. Plus, he spends all his time with animals. But I have to admit, he's really good-looking." She smiled.

"Agreed." I laughed. "Okay, uh... Amir?"

"Nope. I don't think I could go out with a prince, I don't want to feel inferior. And I don't think I could go out with a guy who's hair is longer than mine."

"Okay... someone who has shorter hair than you... oh man, it's Rod, isn't it?" I exclaimed and pointed my finger at her. Her cheeks went dark again. "I knew it!"

"No, you didn't!" She threw a pillow at me. "It took you three guesses!"

"Well, yeah... But still! That's so cute!" I giggled. "But you could not have picked a more clueless guy."

She sighed yet again, sinking back into the couch. "I know. But he's just so cute! He's so smiley all the time and whenever I see him, he shows me tricks that his pets can do!"

"How long have you known him?" I asked. I was, as far as I knew, by far the newest member of the village. I had no idea how long everybody else had been here for.

"Just over a year." She answered. "I came here two winters ago. He's been here for a lot longer."

"And he doesn't know you're interested?" I asked.

"I hope not! I mean, we're friends, but it would be embarrassing if he knew I liked him!" She exclaimed.

"Well, at least if he knew, then the ball would be in his court, and you would probably find out if he likes you back." I reasoned.

"True. But what if he rejects me?" She asked, her eyes widening again.

"At least you would know." I explained.

"But... he's just so cute!" She procured another pillow and buried her face in it.

We stayed up giggling until pretty late. It was one in the morning when I checked my watch and decided it was time to head home.

"Oh, Anya, I think we're going to be good friends." She said as she walked me to the door. I smiled.

"I think so too." I replied. "Goodnight."

"Have a safe walk home!" She called as I walked away. I waved and kept walking.

It was darker than I thought it would be. I guess it was one in the morning, there was no reason for it to be light out. The streetlights didn't do much to make me feel less uncomfortable, I quickened my pace.

"Anya?" I nearly jumped out of my skin. I whirled around, searching for the source of the voice.

Soseki stepped into the glow of the streetlight.

"Soseki? What are you doing out so late?" I exclaimed. I was about to make a joke about his 'age' and it being past his bedtime, but I held my tongue. I didn't want to offend him in case he actually was as old as he thought he was.

"I should be asking you the same question. I'm usually out this late." He smiled and approached slowly.

"It's one in the morning!" I said. He chuckled.

"I'm aware." He replied. "I won't ask questions, but I will insist that you get home safely. This may not be the city, but I can imagine it must still be daunting for a young lady to be walking alone after dark."

"I was just at Tina's, we lost track of time." I explained as he reached me. "Why are you always out this late?"

"Why not?" He grinned. "Shall we?" He gestured at the path ahead of us and we continued on our way.

"But what do you do?" I persisted.

"A little of this, a little of that." He answered. I didn't want to push him. I was trying to get people to like me, I didn't want to invade his privacy. It was his own business what he did this late at night.

"Do you happen to know any interesting news items around the village?" I asked. he did so much wandering, I figured he would know if something was up. Plus, I could help Tina get this week's issue done.

"News items?" He repeated, slowing his walk slightly.

"Yeah, Tina's got a bit of writer's block for the newspaper." I explained.

"Well, she could try doing a segment every week on something relevant to the village, like types of insects, wild animals or useful herbs." He suggested.

"That's actually a really good idea!" I said, "How did you come up with that?"

"It comes with the trade." He answered.

"What trade?" I asked. "Wait, are you a journalist too?"

"Guilty." He bowed his head, a slight smile playing on his lips.

"You should team up with Tina! I'm sure she would appreciate the help!" I suggested.

"Ah, no. I couldn't. Tina has done such a good job on her own, the newspaper is her project. I couldn't interfere." He explained.

"She wouldn't mind." I said.

"Thank you for offering, Anya, but I really couldn't do that to Tina's ego." He replied.

"You're so polite and humble, Soseki." I grinned. "Why can't all guys be like you?"

He was silent for a moment. "If all men were like me, the world would not be nearly as advanced as it is now."

At this point, we had reached my house.

"You're so wise, Soseki." I smiled. "How old did you say you were again?" I teased.

"Good night, Anya." He said, a slight smile on his face.

"Thank you for walking me! Good night!" I called after his retreating form.

What an odd man. Well, maybe not odd, but definitely mysterious. I wanted to crack him, there was more to him than he let on.

But for now, bed time. I was exhausted.


	3. Electric Shock

A couple more weeks went by before I found myself at the Music Festival with Iroha and Tina. Already, I could sense tension in the air. Wait, tension? This was a music festival, why would people be tense? Was it because everyone in the village would be in one place together? Was it _sexual_ tension? I had to admit, it made sense, and I got the feeling that it wasn't just Tina's infatuation with Rod that was the only romantic feeling in the air. I guess that's what tends to happen when there's so many young people in a small village together.

It wasn't long after we'd arrived that Rod approached and invited Tina to watch the show with him. Iroha and I exchanged a looked before I winked at Tina as she waved to us and followed Rod to their seats. Iroha and I headed for the back row and were soon joined by Amir and Sanjay.

Sanjay and Iroha in particular seemed to get along well, they were talking animatedly as soon as they sat down and even after Emma started playing the piano. I was a little annoyed at them, I actually wanted to listen to the music, not their whispering and giggling. Was this another chunk of the sexual tension I was detecting earlier? I was glad that I was on one side of the couple and Amir was on the other, I didn't need that awkwardness on top of what was already happening.

I glanced helplessly to my other side in some attempt to make the situation less uncomfortable without offending Iroha, and my eyes fell onto Soseki, who was sitting on the other end of the row.

Soseki and I had run into each other a couple times over the past few weeks. Mostly in the forest when no one else was around. Normally, this would have creeped me out a bit, but with Soseki, it made me feel at ease for some reason. I didn't really understand why. Maybe it was because that he insisted that he was so old that I felt safe, or because he had made Allen back down from Iroha and I before that I felt like he would protect me. And anyone, for that matter.

Our conversations had always been brief, both of us on our own business in the forest. I personally didn't want to bother him. He seemed to enjoy his time alone, but I always asked if he wanted to join me, out of politeness, genuine concern or intrigue, I couldn't tell you. But I was relatively comfortable around Soseki, more comfortable than I was around Neil or Allen, that was for sure.

I looked at Iroha and Sanjay again quickly to make sure they were too distracted with each other to notice me leave before I got up and approached Soseki.

"Is this seat taken?" I gestured to the chair next to him.

"Not at all, please join me." He looked up at me and smiled. I grinned back and sat down.

"Sorry, Iroha and Sanjay are making too much noise and I'd really rather listen to the music." I explained in a whisper.

"I understand." He whispered back and turned to the stage again.

I turned back to the music again too. It was so beautiful I had always enjoyed piano music, and Emma played so nicely. I closed my eyes to absorb it better and relaxed into my chair.

In the process, I bumped Soseki's arm. He was so broad shouldered, I guess there was no avoiding it, but was shocked me was the jolt of electricity that shot up my arm at the point of contact.

My eyes flew open and I pulled my arm away quickly. Soseki turned to look at me with his eyebrows raised.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly and bending his head down closer to mine. I felt my cheeks go dark.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I averted my gaze and rubbed my arm where I had felt the shock, "I think you might have just given me an electric shock."

"Oh, that's strange, I didn't feel anything." He replied. I looked up at him. His face was so close and I knew I was going to start hyperventilating if he kept his current position.

"That's weird." I said, "Let's keep watching the show." I turned back to the stage, willing my heart to slow down and my cheeks to return to their normal colour.

Oh no. Did _I_ have some part in the sexual tension? Was I attracted to Soseki? No, that couldn't be it. I hadn't even considered being attracted to him until two seconds ago. I peeked at him quickly.

He did have a good build, though you could hardly tell through the clothes he wore. And he had a nice, square jaw, something that I had only personally attributed to grown men, especially considering the other guys here were around my age and, to me anyway, were in no way mature or grown men.

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense that I would be attracted to Soseki. I mean, I had always been told that I was mature for my age since I was 16, and now I was 22 and still felt more mature than most of the other people here my age. True, I did enjoy giggling with girl friends every once in a while, but I didn't obsess over things that don't matter, like makeup and boys. At least... before I found a boy I was attracted to.

He was so calm and easy to talk to, I felt safe around him, something that never happened when I was with any other guy. So what is he was older? I had a feeling he wasn't really as old as he let on he was.

What was I going to do? He was sitting right next to me! What was going to happen when the music ended and it was time to go home? Tina had told me a tea party of sorts happened afterwards, but I didn't fully understand the details. Would Soseki know? Would he want to stick around for tea? Would he even want to have tea with me?

All of this had started with a small jolt of electricity when I had accidently touched Soseki. Now I felt foolish. Why was I obsessing over him when it was probably nothing to be obsessing over? He probably didn't feel attracted to me anyway. Otherwise, he would have taken me up on my offers to spend time together in the forest.

I tried to refocus on the music, but it was hard. I couldn't suppress the thoughts flooding through my mind. I didn't know how I felt when the music stopped. At least I wasn't alone with my thoughts anymore, but now I had to do something. Or Soseki had to do something, but I highly doubted he would.

Everyone started getting up and discussing the festival and started making plans for tea. From what I could tell, tea was a private matter.

I was interrupted by my conflicting thoughts when Soseki spoke.

"How did you enjoy the music?" He asked. I whipped around at his voice. He was smiling and he twisted in his seat to face me better.

"I liked it a lot!" I replied, though in truth, I hadn't really spent a whole lot of time actually listening to it.

His knee brushed against mine and I almost jumped. That same shock of electricity, though a bit more intense. Maybe that was because I had just spent the last ten minutes contemplating the first shock.

"I really like piano music, and Emma plays so beautifully. I feel so lucky to have experienced it." He said.

"Do you want to come to my house for tea?" I said it really quickly so I wouldn't change my mind. Then I looked up at him tentatively.

His eyes widened and he looked taken aback. He hadn't been expecting me to say that. He was quiet as he pondered his answer, which did nothing to calm me down.

"I don't know if it's the best idea..." He replied. I felt my heart sink.

"Why not?" I asked softly. All around us, villagers were getting up and leaving for various tea-drinking location.

Again, he hesitated before he answered.

"It's just tea." I said.

He was quiet for another moment before he smiled.

"Alright then, shall we?" He got up and made room for me to get out of the row of chairs.

He walked beside me as we left the festival grounds and I caught Tina's eye before we left. Her eyes were wide and her mouth slightly open. I had to admit, I was a little terrified at what was happening, but I managed a shaky smile before we left.


	4. Tea

"What kind of tea do you like?" I asked when we got to my house. I headed for the kitchen and opened the cupboard that held my tea.

"What kind do you have?" Soseki had seemed uneasy on the walk over. I was worried, he was hesitant to come over for tea, didn't he like me? I mean, we had talked before, we got along okay. I had never had someone reject me before. I mean, I'd had a boyfriend in the city for a while, but he was the one who had asked me out and I was the one who broke up with him six months later. This was all new for me, I had no idea how to handle rejection.

Soseki made his way over to the cupboard to inspect his option.

"Oolong, Chai, Jasmine, Earl Grey..." I pulled various boxes and cans out of the cupboard as I named them.

"Oolong is fine for me." He said.

"Okay." I put the rest of the tea away and put the kettle on to boil. "Have a seat, make yourself at home."

He took a seat at the table and I joined him as soon as I had the teapot ready for when the water boiled.

"I have to say," He said before the silence got uncomfortable, "I wasn't expecting to be invited here for tea."

"To be honest, I wasn't really planning on inviting you over." I admitted.

"But I also need to clarify... is this a date?" His face was serious again and he was leaning across the table towards me. I felt my face flush again.

"No, this is just two friends having tea." I managed a small smile.

"You consider me a friend?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Well..." I was flustered. I fiddled with my hands in my lap and averted my eyes. "I mean, I enjoy our little conversations, I'd like to be friends with you."

Soseki was silent and I was saved when the kettle started whistling. I jumped up and resumed my preparations.

"Do you like cream or sugar?" I asked over my shoulder as I steeped the tea.

"Milk would be nice." He answered. I pulled the milk out of the fridge and poured it into a small pitcher. Then I brought it, the teapot and two mugs to the table and sat back down.

"Mmm, it smells nice." Soseki said as he poured himself a mug and brought it to his mouth.

We were silent for another minute as we fixed our tea.

"Do you consider me a friend?" I asked softly. Again, he was quiet before he answered.

"Yes, I believe I do." He smiled. "That is, if you don't mind having older friends!"

He laughed. I was taken aback. Again, with his age.

"You can't be that old!" I replied.

"What do you mean?" He laughed, "I haven't even told you how old I am!"

"But you do tend to go on about your age." I reminded him, "Come on, it can't be _that_ old."

"I really rather not say." He smiled.

"Fine." I crossed my arms. "But I really think it's a matter of perspective. I mean, to 12-year-olds, I'm old. Heck, to some 16 and 18-year-olds I'm old! And I'm only 22!"

"This is true." He brought a hand to his chin and pondered. "Okay, I'll tell you: I'm thirty."

"That's not bad at all!" I sighed in relief. I had actually been quite worried that he _was_ really as old as he seemed to think he was.

"It's older than most of the younger people in the village." He pointed out.

"Since when does that matter?" I asked, curious now. I didn't know he held himself to the same standard that the other bachelors did.

"I don't even know why I told you my age. I've never told anyone else here before." He put his head in his hands.

"Hey." I tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder. Again, electricity through my palm. I wanted to melt, but I couldn't right then. was it just me, or did he flinch at my touch? "Why is your age so important to you? Thirty is not that old, ask anyone."

He looked up at me and I could see so much emotion in his eyes. He was holding a lot in, that I had already gathered from our previous encounters. But here he was, telling me things he hadn't told anyone here before. Had everyone here just ignored him, or had he just shut everyone out? If so, then why was he all of a sudden letting me in?

"Ah, you don't need to worry about me. This tea is delicious." He changed the subject abruptly.

Okay then. We'll talk about something else. All outward signs of emotion gone. We were back to just a friendly afternoon tea party.

"What brought you to Echo Village?" He asked after taking a sip of tea.

"I just felt like a change. I don't really enjoy living in the city. You?" I replied.

"I needed to get away from the city too." He replied, "It's so quiet and peaceful out here. You don't see trees and animals back there like you do here."

And so the afternoon progressed.

As I had assumed, Soseki was very easy to talk to. Once he opened up a bit and actually started talking, we had a great time. He was funny! I would have to spend more time with him, that was for sure. No another awkward pause or silence happened again that afternoon.

"Whoa, is it six o'clock already?" Soseki glanced at the clock hanging on the wall.

"Is it actually?" I turned to look at it as well. Yep, six o'clock alright.

"I should be going." He got up. "But thank you for inviting me over. I had a nice time."

"Me too." I smiled and got up to walk him to the door.

"I'll see you later." He bowed his head to me and then he was off.

The next day, Tina came and found me on my farm.

"What was that?" She exclaimed. I jumped. I hadn't seen or heard her coming. I was watering my crops and I almost spilled the contents of my watering can.

"Geez, Tina!" I put the watering can down and clutched at my heart. "Don't do that!"

"What happened yesterday?" No apology, straight down to business.

"The Music Festival." I answered innocently. She rolled her eyes.

"No, I mean _after_ the Music Festival. You left with Soseki!" She accused me. I smiled slowly.

"So?" I raised my eyebrows. "You probably left to have tea with Rod."

She blushed. "Well, yeah, but you know I have a thing for Rod! Why didn't you tell me you had a think for Soseki?"

"I didn't really know I did until yesterday." I admitted.

"What?" She asked, confused. I had to admit, the whole thing had me confused as well. I could hardly sleep last night because I was trying to figure it all out for myself.

"You know that feeling when someone gives you a shock? You know from static electricity, you kind of get this little prick wherever they touch you." I tried to explain.

"Yeah, I know the feeling." She said slowly.

"That happened to me when I touched Soseki! I mean, accidently, I accidently brushed his arm when I was sitting next to him yesterday. Then I just couldn't stop thinking about it! I was nervous around him and I was fidgety, I didn't really know what to make of it, the only conclusion I could come to was that I was attracted to him." I went on.

"Oh, Anya!" Tina gushed and gave me a quick hug. "What what I feel when Rod touches me, except it's more like a butterfly on my skin instead of an electric shock. I can't believe it! Who would have thought you and Soseki would get together, who would have thought Soseki and _anyone_ would get together?"

"We're not together!" I explained quickly, feeling my face flush. "We're just friends!"

"I still can't believe it."Tina shook her head. "He's so old!"

"He's not _that_ old." I replied.

"Oh, really? Did he tell you how old he really is?" She grinned at me. I felt my cheeks going darker. This was so uncomfortable. I knew Tina was just looking for gossip... right! Her gossip column!

"You'd better not put any of this in the newspaper!" I pointed a finger to her. She laughed.

"Aww, why not? It could be good!" She whined.

"No! We're not dating! We're just friends, I don't want to freak him out!" I said.

"So you do like him?" She smirked. I paused. I didn't really know how to respond. I wasn't even sure myself of how I felt about Soseki.

"I don't know!" I fell to the ground and lay on my back in the dirt. "I just... I don't know, I feel comfortable around him, I like talking to him... I need to get to know him better before I decide anything."

Tina sat cross-legged on the ground next to me.

"Still... you can't deny the way he makes you feel when you touch." She said softly.

"I can't?" I sat up. Why couldn't I just throw the memory away and figure things out rationally?

"No! That's sexual tension right there." She winked. "Well, see ya! I have to get working on the paper!"

"What, no! You can't leave me!" I was so confused and Tina seemed to know a lot more about this kind of stuff than I did.

She jumped up. "Don't worry, you'll figure it out." At that, she waved and skipped off the farm, leaving me more confused then ever as I slumped back down into the dirt.


	5. Fishing

I dawdled getting my chores done. It also probably didn't really help that I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep the night before. It almost felt like I _wanted _ to avoid Soseki. At least until I had some of these feelings figured out.

But I wanted fish for dinner and I was all out. No matter how hard I tried to distract myself with food that I did have in the house, the craving wouldn't go away. I sighed, picked up my fishing rod and headed out.

I didn't go too far, just to the Eastern part of the forest, before I sat down next to the river and cast my line.

I was so anxious, I couldn't relax like I usually did when I went fishing. I kept glancing over my shoulder to see if Soseki was coming. I knew he liked to wander the forest before dinnertime, but his schedule was so sporadic, no one ever really knew where they might expect him to be at any given time.

It took a few minutes, I caught a couple fish before I calmed down a bit and was able to relax. Of course, that was when I heard footsteps in the grass. My eyes shot open.

"Good afternoon." Soseki called to me from the path.

"Hey!" I smiled nervously as he strayed away from the trail and made his way over.

"What brings you out here so close to dinnertime?" He asked, hovering over me.

"Had a craving for fish." I explained.

"Do you mind if I sit down?" He asked.

"Not at all!" I patted the ground next to me. He grinned and took a seat. I felt my face starting to flush at his close proximity.

"I'm actually glad I ran into you." He said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Really?" I replied. He was glad he ran into me? I felt my heart rate speed up.

"Yeah, I wanted to apologize for yesterday." He explained. I felt my skin pale. He was sorry about yesterday? He hadn't wanted to hang out with me?

"What for?" I asked, my voice cracking. I couldn't believe how hung up I was on this guy. I didn't even know him that well!

"Well, when you first asked me to come over, I told you that I didn't think it was a good idea. But I'm glad you convinced me otherwise, I had a nice time." He explained. I smiled.

"That's good, I had a nice time too." I replied. "But why didn't you think it was such a good idea?"

He looked away from me and faced the water instead. He hesitated before he answered. I couldn't help but notice his hair blowing in the soft breeze. Most guys couldn't pull off having hair like Soseki's, but Soseki did it very nicely.

"I think I was skeptical." He answered after a moment of pondering, "No one here has really shown any genuine interest in getting to know me, and I tend to feel more comfortable on my own anyway. So I was just caught off guard, I suppose."

"I don't really know what to say to that, but I can tell you that I honestly do enjoy spending time with you." I replied. He was quiet for another minute before he finally turned to look at me again. I found myself getting lost in his dark eyes.

"And if I'm honest, I was a little scared." He said softly.

Scared?

"Why?" I breathed, not even daring to blink.

"Because I've never been asked to tea by such a lovely young woman." He smiled. I managed a nervous chuckle.

"Oh! Ha, well... you don't have to be scared of me." I assured him, quickly looking away.

"I enjoy spending time with you too, Anya." He said, "Do you mind if I keep you company while you fish?"

"Nope, you can sta"Because I've never been asked to tea by such a lovely young woman." He smiled. I managed a nervous chuckle.

"Oh! Ha, well... you don't have to be scared of me." I assured him, quickly looking away.

"I enjoy spending time with you too, Anya." He said, "Do you mind if I keep you company while you fish?"

"Not at all!" I said for the second time that day.

"Anya... that's such a pretty name." He mused. I blushed. I don't think I've ever received so many compliments from any guy ever. I don't know what scared me the most, the fact that he was complimenting me, or the fact that I knew he meant it.

"Thanks." I smiled, "It's Russian, my family is from Russia."

"Really?" He raised his eyebrows. "Well, now that I really look at you, I can see some Russian in you."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I asked.

"Good, definitely good!" He replied quickly. "Eastern Europe is a very attractive part of the world." I laughed.

"What about your name, Soseki?" I asked, though I already had an idea of the answer.

"Japanese." He replied.

"Why am I not surprised." I winked at him.

"Well, I suppose the clothes are a bit of a giveaway." He said.

"Just a bit." I grinned and turned back to the river.

"What have you caught so far?" He asked.

"Um... well, that's a smelt, and that's a sashimo." I pointed to the two fish that I had caught so far.

"Mmm, sashimo, that's my favourite fish." He kicked his shoes off and dipped his feet in the water.

I got a bite right then and had to focus on reeling it in. It was a big one! And it was pulling back with a lot of strength. I stood up and pulled harder. I could see it just downstream, it was trying to get away, but seemed to have forgotten that it was attached to me. I stumbled forward as it pulled.

The I felt a pair of hands around my waist. Immediately, there were butterflies in my stomach and electric shots radiating from where his hands were touching, which was pretty much my entire stomach and waist.

But it helped. I reeled and Soseki pulled and together, we brought the fish onto land.

I dropped the rod and picked up a stone to club it until it was dead, I was _not_ going to let this one just flip flop back into the river.

Then the realization of the whole situation caught up with me and I burst out laughing. Soseki joined in soon after. Had that really just happened?

"Thanks for the help!" I gasped when I had calmed down a bit.

"It was no problem." Soseki replied, "I wouldn't want you to be pulled down the river to who know's where."

"Thanks." I repeated, still smiling.

"What kind of fish is it?" He asked.

"It looks like a moray eel." I inspected the fish. "Hey, do you want to help me bring it home and we can cook it up for dinner?"

"Really?" He said, "You don't mind sharing?"

I laughed again.

"Not at all! I couldn't possible eat this on my own, plus, you helped bring it in." I insisted.

It was at that point that I realized that my hands were still covered in blood and scales. I must look so psychotic. I stooped down to rinse my hands in the river.

"Sure, that sounds like fun." Soseki replied with a smile.

"Okay, I'll get its head," I said, packing up my gear and the too small fish before bending over to pick up the eel. It was the bloodiest part of the fish, I wouldn't make Soseki carry it. "You can grab the tail."

"Alright." Soseki picked up the tail and together we carried it back to my farm.

"I can't believe we caught it." I said with my hands on my hips, marvelling at the size of the fish once we had it laid out on the kitchen table.

"It's very impressive." He agreed. "I can gut and clean it."

"You can?" I looked up at him in surprise. He hadn't struck me as that kind of guy.

He laughed. "I may not have been born in Japan, but I still know a lot preparing fish."

"Oh, right." I felt my cheeks go dark again and I turned to the kitchen to start preparing a chowder.

I hadn't forgotten the sensation of feeling his arms around my waist. Far from it, it had been consuming me on the whole walk home. I decided that I wasn't scared of it, in fact, I found that I quite liked it. A lot. I wanted to feel it again. I wanted him to wrap me in his arms and told me tight. But I knew that was probably very unlikely, and it would be creepy for me to try and make this happen again anyway.

I searched my kitchen drawers and found a knife that I often used for gutting fish. I brought it and a plastic bag for the guts to Soseki.

"Thanks." He smiled at me and I felt my knees go weak.

"I was thinking of making a chowder, is that okay?" I asked.

"Sounds delicious." He grinned down at me. I managed a shaky smile back before I quickly made my way back to the counter and started preparing dinner.


	6. Secrets

I had to admit, Soseki did a really good job of cleaning the fish. I probably couldn't have done it so well. I now had no trouble believing that he was part Japanese.

After another hour of small talk, dinner was ready. I served up two bowls and placed them on the dining room table.

"It smells good!" Soseki commented as we sat down.

"Thanks," I grinned. I noticed that he waited until I had eaten a spoonful before he started eating. What a gentleman.

"This is delicious." He commented, looking up at me. I felt my cheeks go dark for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"Couldn't have done it without you!" I reminded him.

"This is probably true." He chuckled and kept eating.

We ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"I have to admit, when I decided to go out for a walk, I wasn't expecting to end up having dinner with you." He said.

"Isn't that how life goes?" I mused. "I mean, you can never really expect anything. I usually just go with the flow and see where it takes me, and I turned out fine."

"I like your attitude." Soseki grinned. "It's usually the same one I have."

"Usually?" I repeated.

"Well," He sat forward in his chair and placed his elbows on the table. "I mean, it's good to have goals and a plan as sort of a guideline to get to them."

"What goals do you have?" I asked.

He was quiet. I got a feeling that I may have touched at a difficult subject for him and I instantly wished I could take it back.

"I used to have a lot of goals, but I don't anymore." He answered. "What are your goals?"

That was odd. I wanted to press harder and find out what he was hiding, but I knew it would just make him shut me out. When he's ready, he'll tell me.

"Well, I want to have a successful farm." I started. "I don't want to ever have to worry about my next meal or having a roof over my head. I suppose I'd really like to get married and start a family too." I added the last part softly, and accompanied by a blush.

"Those sound like some pretty reasonable goals." He nodded. "I think you're well on your way."

"Thanks." I smiled.

After dinner, Soseki and I retired to the couch and just talked. I was careful not to bring up anything that may be difficult for him to talk about, though I had no idea what was really safe to bring up with this guy. I didn't think it had been that long when I yawned and checked my watch.

"Holy crap! It's past midnight!" I exclaimed.

"Is it really?" Soseki asked, rubbing the back of his neck. "Time sure flew by quickly."

"I'll say!" I was still in shock. It couldn't have been four hours since dinner, could it?

"I should let you sleep, you need your rest for the farm." He said.

"Yeah, I guess so." I replied. He laughed and stood up.

"Always a pleasure, Anya." He bowed his head and I blushed. "I'll see you later."

"Good night!" I escorted him to the door and waved as he left into the night.

Summer arrived a few days later, and while I welcomed the opportunity to wear shorts and to turn off the heater in my house, the weather was almost too warm, not to mention sticky. It made farming a lot harder and I found myself going to bed and getting up earlier to avoid the worst of it. I didn't understand how Soseki could wear his traditional robe. Surely he must be hot!

Iroha and I visited the forest together often with the arrival of new herbs and plants that she could teach me about.

"You and Soseki seem to be getting pretty close." She commented. I felt my cheeks flush.

"I enjoy spending time with him." I answered. "And he seems to enjoy spending time with me too. And it's not like you mind anyway, you spend enough time with Sanjay!"

I had the satisfaction of seeing her cheeks darken.

"We really like each other!" She exclaimed, "He gave me a commitment ring last night!"

"He did?" I whipped my head back in her direction. "And you didn't tell me this earlier because...?"

She held her hand out to show me her ring. It was a small solver band with a light blue, sparkling gem set in the middle.

"I was worried you would think it was too soon." She admitted.

"Well, now that you mention it, it may be." I winked at her.

"I've had a crush on him for so long!" She went on. This was news to me. I refrained from herb-hunting and gave her my full attention. "Almost two years. I tried letting it go so many times when he didn't seem to have the same feelings, but I just couldn't. Oh, Anya, I'm so happy right now!"

"I'm happy for you." I smiled. I had no idea of any of this, but then again, I had only been here a season. Still, she must have been really good at hiding it.

I really hoped it didn't take Soseki two years to ask me out! I was already falling so hard for him, I don't know if I could handle waiting that long.

"How did he ask?" I asked.

She was glowing, I knew she had been holding it in since we met up this morning.

"It was kind of romantic, he had to wait until Amir was asleep before he could leave the mansion. I was sleeping too, but he woke me up by throwing stones at my window. So I went to the window, opened it and found him out there and he was holding this ring," At this point, she took off her ring and admired it once again, "And asked me if I would be his girlfriend."

"That's so cute!" I exclaimed with a smile. "Like something out of an old-fashioned romance novel."

"I know, right?" She smiled. "I'm meeting him for dinner for our first 'official' date."

"I hope it's good," I told her, "You and Sanjay are so cute together."

"You and Soseki are cute together too." She told me. I blushed, "No, seriously! I mean it. I've known Soseki for a lot longer than you have and he hasn't shown any sign of opening up to anyone, and then you show up and all of a sudden, he smiles and shows emotion. Before, he was just blank all the time, minding his own business and keeping out of everyone's way."

"But he's so secretive." I commented. "I mean, he told me that there used to be things he wanted to do with his life, but now there aren't and he always says that he's so old when he's really not."

"Everyone has their secrets." Iroha said. "I think that because he's made it known to you that he has secrets means that he wants to eventually tell you."

"Maybe..." I mused.

"Anyway, I have to go get ready for my date!" Iroha grinned. The sun was starting to get lower in the sky and the heat bugs were starting to sing.

"Right, have a good time!" I called to her as she walked away.

"I will, see you later!" She waved with a smile.


	7. Ring

It was a few days later, close to the middle of the summer, when I ran out of headache medication and decided to pay a visit to the clinic. All my work for the day was done, and I just wanted to relax at home, which would have been easy if it weren't for the soft pounding of what I knew was going to be an annoying headache.

But when I walked in to the normally deserted clinic, I found that Dr Klaus already had a patient.

"You need to watch yourself, Soseki." My heart leapt at the sound of his name, "You can't keep doing this to yourself."

"I just ate a bit too much, I'll be fine in an hour." Soseki replied.

"You know better than that, you know your condition!" Dr Klaus sounded exasperated.

Condition? What condition? Soseki was sick? I should have known that him going on about how old he is was a front for something else. Was it serious? I tried to keep quiet to find out more, but the door slammed shut behind me, giving me away. Soseki and Dr Klaus looked up.

"Anya!" Soseki called, a small slowly spreading across his lips. "Just the person I was hoping would come to rescue me!"

"No, Soseki." Dr Klaus interjected. "I think it's best if you spend the night here."

"It's just a bit of indigestion." Soseki replied, "You see, Anya, I overestimated my stomach capacity and ate a little too much for dinner, do you think you could help me get home?"

"I think you should probably listen to Dr Klaus, Soseki." I frowned slightly. "If he thinks you should spend the night here, then you probably should."

"I'll be fine!" Now Soseki sounded annoyed. "This isn't the first time this has happened, it will go away in half an hour. Besides, the beds here are uncomfortable, I'd much rather rest at home."

I could see his reasoning, but if he had an underlying condition, my feeling was that it would be best if he was under surveillance by a doctor. But at the same time, I didn't want to admit that I had overheard their conversation. I waited to hear what Dr Klaus would say.

In response to Soseki's statement, he just threw his hands in the air. "Fine, have it your way, Soseki. Go home."

Soseki grinned. "Anya, would you mind escorting me home?"

At this point, I had completely forgotten about the pain medication that I had originally come for.

"Sure." I smiled softly at his grinning face. It was impossible for me to be upset or annoyed with him, I had discovered.

He stood and offered me his arm. I blushed. I thought _I_ was the one escorting _him_ home. Still, I looped my arms through his and together, we walked out of the clinic.

"Soseki, what's going on?" I asked as soon as we were out of earshot from anyone.

"I explained already, I have a slight stomach upset." He said matter-of-factly.

"But why did Dr Klaus want to keep you in the clinic for monitoring tonight?" I went on.

"Because he's worried it could be something else. You know doctors, always thinking of other possible diagnoses." Soseki chuckled.

I decided to drop it. He wasn't ready to tell me, but he must know that I knew something was up. He couldn't keep it from me forever.

We walked in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again.

"How was your day, I'm afraid I didn't get out much today." Soseki said.

"It was fine." I replied. "Just another day."

Soseki sighed. I was upset that he didn't trust me enough to let me in, but then again, he didn't trust _anyone _ enough to let them in, so I couldn't feel too offended. I softened my expression and clung to him a bit tighter as we walked. We arrived at his house shortly after.

"Well, I hope you feel better soon." I said, reluctantly pulling my arm away from his.

"Anya," He paused. I stopped and waited for him to go on. "I know I'm keeping secrets, but please trust me. I know what I'm doing. You mean a lot to me, I'll tell you soon, I promise."

I smiled. "I'm not upset, Soseki. In your own time, then."

"Will you come in?" He stepped out of the way and gestured for me to walk inside his house. I had never been in his house before. I nodded and walked in.

It was about the same size as my house, there were books and papers everywhere. I guess I assumed from Soseki's 'maturity' that he would keep his house clean, but I guess you can't really base anything off first impressions. He had a small kitchen with a dining room table, a queen-sized bed and a desk littered with more papers and books, these took up most of the space.

"Can I make you some tea?" He offered.

"You should be resting!" I exclaimed, "I should be making _you_ some tea!"

Soseki just chuckled. "I'll be fine! I think it's cute that you're worried about me."

"Mint tea is good for indigestion." I offered.

"Then let's have some mint tea." Soseki shooed me out of the kitchen while he put a kettle on the stove to boil. Then he joined me at the table.

"Thank you for taking me home." He said. I smiled.

"It's no trouble." I assured him.

"I know what you want from me." He said. That came out of nowhere. What did that even mean? I don't even know what I want from him.

"Huh?" I replied. He smiled.

"How about I start by telling you how I feel?" He suggested.

"Okay..." I agreed. My heart started racing, now I had an inkling of what was going on.

"I like you Anya." He started. My heart was pounding so hard, I was sure he could hear it, "I enjoy every minute we spend together, and I see your blush when I'm around. No one here has ever shown any interest in me before, until you moved in. I want to pursue a relationship with you, I know that much, but I'm not sure it's a good idea."

"Why not?" I asked. My heart had melted at his confession, but now tears threatened to spill.

"Because I don't want to hurt you." He explained.

"What?" I said, "If we were in a relationship, I can say honestly that I wouldn't be hurt, in fact, I'd welcome it! I guess you already know that I have a bit of a crush on you... but if you aren't ready for a relationship, then I understand, we can wait."

At this point, the kettle started whistling, giving Soseki some time to think of his response and me time to keep worrying and to try to lower my heart rate.

"It's not that I don't think I'm ready for a relationship," He said, returning to the table and placed a mug of tea in front of me. "I just don't want to let you down."

"How would you let me down?" I asked. I was so confused. If we wanted us to be in a relationship, why was he worried about hurting me? This made no sense and I could feel my headache returning.

"What if something happens to either one of us, like... I don't know, a fatal injury or a serious infection and we're left alone again?" He said. I almost laughed out loud.

"You're afraid one of us is going to _die_?" I said, "Oh, Soseki, everyone's going to die eventually, we just have to give love a chance before that happens."

He was silent as he pondered this. "That makes sense..."

"Soseki," I went on, "I don't know your secrets, but they can't possibly be as bad as you think they are. I mean, you were really freaked out about your age, but that didn't turn out to be bad at all. If you need time to think about it, I understand."

"But, I already got you this." Soseki smiled slightly as he pulled a small box out of his robe. He handed it to me and my heart stopped for a second. Was this what I thought it was? I opened it.

It was a small silver ring with a glimmering purple stone in the middle.

"But... I thought you didn't think this was a good idea." I looked up at him.

"I bought the ring weeks ago, I knew I would give it to you eventually, but then my own fears started setting in, I can see that now. It was silly, I should have known that if you wanted to be with me, you would be with me no matter what the implications." He explained, rubbing the back of his neck.

"It's so beautiful." I took the ring out of the box to examine it.

"May I?" Soseki held his hand out for it. Why? I had no idea, but I gave it to him anyway. "I've never had a girlfriend before, so bear with me, but I'm pretty sure it goes something like this."

He got up from his seat and came around to my side where he took both of my hands and gestured for me to stand up. I stood.

"Anja, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes, of course." I smiled. He smiled and took my hand to place the ring on my finger.

"Thank you." He said. I laughed.

"No, thank _you_!"


	8. Firsts

Soseki and I had agreed to meet up for lunch the next day for our first real date. I'll admit that I had a rough time sleeping the night before, which led to me sleeping in and having to rush through my chores to get to Chez Clement on time.

Soseki was already waiting for me at a table when I got there. He smiled and stood as I approached.

"Good morning, Anya." He said.

"Good morning, Soseki." I smiled back and took a seat. He sat back down. Such a gentleman!

"I have to admit, I'm a bit nervous." He said. "I've never had a girlfriend before, so you'll have to be patient with me."

"That's okay, we can take it slow." I replied.

"Thanks." He looked relieved.

I had no idea that I was his first girlfriend. I mean, I knew he hadn't dated anyone since he came to the island, but I didn't know that he had never dated _anyone_ before. This would be interesting. But seeing as how I had only really dated one other person before, I was okay with going slow. I cared too much about Soseki to rush things and make him uncomfortable.

"I'll tell you now, I didn't have a big breakfast so I'm actually really hungry." I told him. He grinned.

"Order as much as you like." He said. "I like a girl with a healthy appetite."

Right on cue, Felicity came to take our orders.

Soseki was really easy to talk to. All morning, I had been worried about conversation and awkward silences so much that I made a list in my head of things to talk about. But I didn't really need it. Soseki might have said that he was nervous, but I wouldn't have been able to tell. He was just being himself, and I was just being myself. That was reassuring. We were already comfortable with each other.

I hadn't realized how much time had gone by until Felicity politely told us that they were starting to get ready for dinner.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention to the time." Soseki told me as we got up from the table.

"Neither was I!" I laughed. I pulled my wallet out of my pocket, but Soseki wouldn't have any of that.

"No, no." He shook his hand. "I invited you out, and you are my girlfriend. I'll pay."

"Are you sure?" I pressed.

"I'm a very traditional person, Anya." He smiled. "And I don't mind."

"Okay, then." I shrugged. When his back was turned, I dropped some coins on the table for Felicity.

Once he had paid, Soseki joined me at the door and we walked out together.

"Would you like to go for a walk?" He asked.

"Sure, I don't have any other plans for the day." I answered, relieved that he wasn't quite ready to finish our date yet.

He grinned and offered me his arm again, which I gratefully took.

"What kinds of crops are you harvesting this summer?" He asked as we made our way towards the forest.

"Oh, a little bit of everything. Pineapples, pumpkins, onions, tomatoes, watermelon and corn." I answered.

"Wow, you must be really busy!" He commented.

"It's not so bad." I shrugged. "I've gotten used to it."

"I admire your work ethic!"

"Thanks." I blushed and held myself closer to his body.

I found that Ii really liked it when we walked this way. It was so old-fashioned and romantic, and I could pull myself closer to him to communicate affection. I could see his cheeks turn pink when I did, but other than that, no reaction. It was cute.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Huh?" Came the reply.

"You weren't feeling well yesterday, that's why you were at the clinic, right?" I reminded him.

"Oh, right!" He shook his head. "I'm fine, you don't need to worry about it, it happens often."

"You end up in the clinic often?" I exclaimed. How was I not supposed to worry about him now?

"I know what I'm doing, I promise." He said, but he didn't sound so sure of himself. I dropped it, if he wanted to tell me, he'd tell me.

"What's your favourite movie?" I changed the subject. He smiled gratefully.

We continued chatting all the way through the forest. It was after dark when he brought me back home.

"I had a really nice time today, Anya." He smiled.

"So did I." I grinned up at him.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He promised. "I'll stop by your farm after lunch."

"Looking forward to it." I replied.

There was a bit of an awkward moment where neither of us really knew what to do. I knew from my previous relationship that this was usually where a goodnight kiss happened. But I also knew that Soseki was very new at this and probably wouldn't be comfortable with it. So instead, I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Soseki." I said softly. His mouth was slightly open and he placed a hand on his cheek where my lips had touched. I smiled slowly.

"Goodnight, Anya." He whispered.

At that, I walked into my house, shut the door behind me and dropped to a sitting position behind the door, grinning like a fool.

A couple weeks passed and the summer was drawing to an end. I was grateful that the weather wasn't as intolerable, it was a nice time of year to be working in the fields. I could work up a sweat and still feel pretty comfortable.

Soseki and I were also getting closer. We had gotten to know each other pretty well over the course of the season, which seemed strange, but made sense since we spent time every day together.

"Tomorrow is the fireworks festival." Soseki said one afternoon as we sat lazily on my farm near the stream.

"Mmhmm." I replied. I was lying on my back with my feet dangling in the river and my eyes closed. I was so glad that Soseki and I were already comfortable enough with each other to just relax when we spent time together.

"We're going together, right?" He sounded a bit apprehensive. I opened my eyes and sat up.

"Of course." I smiled and placed a hand on his knee. "Unless you don't want too..."

"No, I want to!" He said quickly. I laughed. "I just wanted to make sure."

"Okay." I smiled. "What time is it?"

As usual, the day had gotten away from us. It was so hard to keep track of time when I was with Soseki, I was finding.

"It's nearly seven." Soseki replied.

"No wonder I'm so hungry!" I exclaimed. Soseki chuckled. "Do you want some dinner?"

"Sure." He answered. I got up and started making my way over to the house.

"What do you wh-AAAH!"

I had tripped over a rock and went tumbling face first to the ground. I was more surprised than hurt, but there was a sharp pain coming from my knee.

"Anya!" Soseki hurried over and knelt down on the ground beside me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I pushed myself up with my now grass-stained hands.

"Your knee." Soseki pointed. I looked. There was a small dribble of blood coming from my right knee.

"Oh, that's no big deal." I started to get up. Soseki scooped me up in his arms. "Hey!"

"I'll bring you inside and have a look at it." He explained. I laughed.

"I'm fine, Soseki!" I assured him, but he kept walking towards the house, so I decided to just sit back and enjoy this while it lasted.

Once we were inside, Soseki sat me down on the kitchen counter and brought a wet cloth to my knee to clean it. I tried to sit as still as possible even though it stung a bit.

"Where d you keep your first aid kit?" He looked up at me.

"Under the sink." I replied with a slight blush. He put down the cloth and bent down to find the kit.

It was kind of nice being a patient and being cared for so well by Soseki. I guess this is what they call Florence Nightingale Syndrome. Except I was already falling in love with him.

"This is going to sting." He stood back up with an alcohol wipe in his hand. I nodded.

I gasped when the cool wipe came in contact with my skin. I dug my fingers into the counter and clenched my teeth. It was over quickly, and before I knew it, Soseki had placed a bandage over the wound.

"Thanks." I smiled up at him.

"My pleasure." He replied.

"Hey, Soseki?" I said when he made no real move of stepping away. He raised his eyebrows at me. "Come a little closer."

"Why?" He smiled.

"Just do it." I insisted.

Soseki bent down a bit closer slowly, he was cautious. I leaned towards him once he was close enough and kissed him quickly on the lips.

The reaction was immediate. As soon as my lips made contact with his, he jumped away quickly, placing a couple fingers on his lips. He was so cute. I couldn't help but giggle. He was quiet for a minute and I stopped laughing pretty soon after I had started. Did I make a mistake? Did I make him feel uncomfortable? Oh no, now I've ruined things.

"Anya?" Soseki was slowing approaching me again.

"Yes?" I replied, a little scared that he was about to reprimand me for what I had done.

"Can we try that again?" He asked softly. I grinned.

"Of course." I said.

Soseki resumed his position between my legs tentatively. He raised his hands and seemed unsure of where to place them. I waited patiently. He cupped my face, leaned in and closed his eyes.

I had to keep myself from moaning as his lips touched mine again, but this time with so much purpose, but with so much caution as well. I knew this was probably the first time Soseki had ever kissed anyone, but I had a hard time believing it. I brought my hands to the back of his neck and pulled myself up closer to him, mashing our lips together even closer. I could feel him smile through the kiss as he moved his lips slowly and tentatively against mine. I had never experienced those jolts of electricity like this before, I was worried I'd start to shake.

Soseki pulled away after a minute or two to lean his forehead against mine and stare into my eyes.

"That was nice." He breathed. I smiled. "Now I understand why people always do it."

"Soseki," I whispered. "I think I'm falling in love with you."

"I think I'm falling in love with you too." He replied. "That would certainly explain why I feel so empty when you're gone."

I just smiled. My stomach growled and Soseki laughed.

"I'll cook dinner tonight." He said and stepped away.


	9. Fireworks

Iroha, Tina and I were having tea the afternoon before the fireworks festival. We all had dates in a couple hours, and were all quite giddy with anticipation.

"Soseki had me make that ring." Iroha admitted.

"Really?" I looked up at her curiously, then down to the ring on my finger.

"Yeah, but he made me promise not to tell anyone." She smiled. "He sure took his sweet time asking you out."

"He did say that he had it made a couple weeks ago..." I mused.

"Yeah, like a season before you guys actually started dating!" She laughed. My mouth dropped.

"An entire season?" I repeated. I had no idea that he got the ring _that_ far in advance. He must have known for a while that he wanted to give dating a try, but his own doubts and fears had gotten in the way.

"That's so romantic." Tina sighed. "Rod hasn't gotten me a ring yet."

"I'm sure it's only a matter of time." Iroha said matter-of-factly. "He follows you around like a lost puppy, he wants to go out with you."

"Then why hasn't he asked?" Tina whined. "Wait! Has he asked you to make a ring?"

"I'm not supposed to breach client confidentiality." Iroha replied smoothly.

"He has!" Tina cried, "I knew it! Is it done yet? Have you given it to him?"

"I'm not allowed to talk about other clients' business in front of other people." Iroha stated.

"Oh, pooh." Tina grimaced. "You're no fun."

"I wouldn't worry about it, if I were you, Tina." I spoke up. "It's obvious to everyone that he likes you, maybe he's just shy, you may need to give him a bit of time to find the courage. It takes a lot of courage for a guy to ask a girl out."

"You're probably right." Tina sighed. "Still, it's hard, especially since you two both have boyfriends."

Nor Iroha sighed. "Stop your whining. It's just a matter of time!"

A couple hours later found me nervously waiting for Soseki to come and pick me up. Why was I nervous? I couldn't tell you. Soseki and I had been on plenty of dates and spent so much time together that I was comfortable with him and really looked forward to the time we had together.

I think it was because this was our first date on a festival day. It made the fact that he was my boyfriend so much more official when I could accompany him to a romantic festival. Everyone would know, if they didn't already, that we were dating after tonight.

I was pulled from my thoughts with a knock on my door. I jumped up and answered it.

"You don't have to knock, just come right in." I smiled at Soseki. He grinned nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

"But what if you aren't... you know..." He hesitated. I laughed.

"Wearing any clothes?" I finished for him. "I usually change in my room, so don't worry about that. You can knock if you want to come in my room."

At that, he blushed. This evening was not off to the best start.

"Shall we?" He offered me his arm. I smiled gratefully and took it and let him lead me to the festival grounds.

There were already a lot of people there. I found Iroha and Sanjay sitting on a blanket, holding hands and Tina and Rod sharing a blanket a well, though they were keeping their distance. I couldn't help but notice the slight blush on Rod's face. Tina just needed to be patient. Rod knew what she wanted, and anyone could tell that he wanted it too.

Soseki set a blanket on the ground a good distance away from everyone else an gestured for me to sit down. I smiled and did, drawing my knees up to my chest. I was surprised, but pleasantly so when he sat directly behind me, his long legs stretching out on either side of me. I blushed when I felt his arms snake around me. We had never done anything quite as intimate as this, let alone in front of the entire village, but it feel good. I relaxed into his firm chest. He was so broad that between his shoulders and arms, he pretty much smothered me. I felt so safe. I wondered what made him try something like this tonight of all nights!

"Well, what do we have here?" I looked up to see Allen looming over the two of us.

"Get lost, Allen." I grimaced.

"So this is why you wouldn't have dinner with me." He mused. "I hope you know what you're getting into, going out with an old man."

At this, I stood up, fire in my eyes.

"I said, get lost, Allen." I growled. He shrugged.

"Whatever, just hurts my ego to know you chose him over me."

"There was no choice." I replied.

"Ouch." Allen clutched his chest in mock pain, "That hurts, Anya. Anyways, enjoy the show, I hope gramps brought his hearing aid."

Once he was gone, I settled back into Soseki's arms.

"Don't pay any attention to him." I told Soseki. "He's just bitter because he's the only one here without a date."

"I think he's just jealous that I have you all to myself, and in such a compromising position." I could hear the smile in Soseki's tone.

"_That's_ what this is all about!" I exclaimed, twisting around to face him. "You've been getting bolder since we started dating."

"I just didn't want there to be any doubt that we're dating." He grinned.

I sat up and kissed him on the cheek. Before I could sit back down again, he caught my lips with his and held my back so I couldn't get away. I smiled and brought my hands to the back of his neck. I was secretly glad he had picked a spot near the back of the crowd with everyone facing away from us. He must have planned this.

"Soseki," I breathed.

"Mmm?" He mumbled through the kiss. I broke off and rested my forehead against his.

"I think the fireworks are about to start." I smiled.

"Okay." He grinned back, though he made no move of removing or relaxing his hold on my back. He sat like that for a few moments, just staring into each other's faces.

"I never would have thought you would be someone to steal a kiss like that." I said.

"I like kissing." He smiled. I laughed.

"Yeah, I'm beginning to understand that!"

There was a bang and 'oohs' and 'aahs' from the gathered villagers that made Soseki's grip relax. We turned to the sky and I settled myself back into Soseki's lap. His arms made their way around my waist and held me close. I smiled and held his arms as we watched the fireworks together.


	10. Clues

A lot of drama had gone down the night of the fireworks festival. What went down between Soseki and I and Allen was pretty insignificant compared to what happened between other people.

For one, Rod finally asked Tina out. Tina was over the moon excited and since the festival, they had become the couple in Echo Village that probably cared the least how everyone else felt about their public displays of affection. They couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other, and everyone hoped it would wear off once they had been dating for a while.

Sanjay had also presented Iroha with a blue feather at the middle of the fireworks display. She accepted and now their wedding was just two days away. I feel like this was the reason Soseki had brought up the idea of us getting married. The whole village was excited about having a wedding. Everything was coming together very quickly, though Iroha was nothing but calm throughout the preparations.

Soseki seemed uneasy on the walk home. I really had no idea why, we had just had a great time at dinner and . Maybe he was regretting being so intimate in front of the entire village. There was no going back now, everyone knew now that we were dating.

We hesitated outside my door.

"Are you okay, Soseki?" I asked softly. He smiled slightly.

"I can't hide anything from you, can I?" He replied.

"You just seem anxious." I commented. He sighed.

"I guess it's just something I overheard Rod and Neil talking about." He said, cheeks flushing slightly.

"What's that?" I prompted him when he made no real sign of continuing. "You can tell me anything, Soseki, you know that!"

"Do you expect us to have sex?" He said so quickly and quietly that I couldn't possibly be sure that's what he said.

"What?" I replied.

"It's just..." he sighed again, his face flaming. "I heard Rod and Neil talking about how a lot of people have sex after the third date."

I almost laughed, but I didn't. It was obvious that Soseki was really freaked out about this.

"Soseki, we've been on like, twenty dates, and we've only just kissed for the first time last week." I reminded him, "I don't want you to feel pressured into doing something you're not comfortable with just because other people are doing it."

"It's not that." He replied, "I don't want to do it because everyone else is, I just don't want to disappoint you."

"Soseki." I placed my hand on his arm. "You could never disappoint me. I'm not expecting us to have sex anytime soon if you aren't comfortable with it."

"That's the other thing I've been worried about." He said softly.

"What's that?" I asked. He took a deep breath.

"You know how traditional I am, I'm just not comfortable with the idea of sex before marriage." He answered, "I want to be married to you before we have sex."

I smiled and rubbed his arm. I could tell this was a subject he was uncomfortable discussing, but I was glad we were talking about it, we were finding out how each other felt.

"You don't need to be worried about that." I told him. "If you want to wait to be married before we have sex, that's wonderful! It'll be something to look forward to."

"Thank you." he finally smiled for real and took the hand that I had on his arm in his.

We were silent for a bit. He reached for my other hand and rubbed his thumbs against it.

"You can see us getting married?" I asked tentatively, speaking what had been on my mind ever since he had suggested it. His cheeks flushed again.

"Well... yes." He averted his gaze. "I think every healthy romantic relationship should be moving towards marriage, and I never thought something like this could happen to me. But it is. And I'm happy when I'm with you, and I think I could be happy for the rest of my life with you." He took another deep breath. "I love you, Anya."

"I love you, too, Soseki." I whispered. He grinned again. He moved his hands to my waist, bent down and kissed me.

"Is this because of Iroha and Sanjay?" I asked. "Are they making you think of marriage too?"

He chuckled. "I can't deny they've got me thinking about it. But I don't think we're quite there yet."

"Agreed." I smiled.

The day or Iroha and Sanjay's wedding arrive a couple days later. Soseki gripped my hand tightly as we took our seats and didn't let go for the entire ceremony. As Iroha and Sanjay took their vows, I couldn't help but let my heart flutter a bit. This was what Soseki wanted for us, and now that I had given it some thought for myself, I knew this was what I wanted for us too. Would we be the next couple to pledge ourselves to each other in Echo Village?

But something was still nagging at me. Soseki had a secret. There was a reason he complained about how old he was, even though he wasn't really so old. It was probably the same reason he left the city for the Village. He knew that I knew he had a secret, we had discussed it before, but he still wasn't ready to disclose anything to me. I didn't like having secrets between us, it hardly seemed fair, especially considering Soseki knew all of my secrets. Did he not trust me? No, that wasn't it. He told me he loved me every day now, sometimes more than once a day. Deep down, I knew he just wasn't ready. Whatever it was, he was scared to tell me. I was scared to find out what it was. It must be something serious if he was so hesitant to let me in.

For now, I would just have to be content with the part of him that had let me in. I knew this was all still pretty new to Soseki. He had never had a girlfriend before, I was the only girl he had ever kissed and he never thought he would ever get married until he met me. That last thought made me blush and I gave Soseki's hand a squeeze.

I had always known that I would get married, whether it be sooner or later, it didn't matter to me, just so long as it was the right man. And now, I was almost positive I had found him.

"How are you doing?" I asked Soseki when I noticed him rubbing his stomach during the reception.

"I'm fine!" he insisted. I knew he was annoyed, but he would never let on. He hated it when I picked up on his cues that he was having stomach troubles.

"You're rubbing your stomach!" I pointed out. "Do you want some Gravol?"

I had started carrying Gravol and Tums in my purse ever since I found out that Soseki would get sick to his stomach frequently.

"Tums is fine." He answered sheepishly. He would never admit this either, but he was grateful that I did.

I fished the container out of my purse, poured two tablets into my hand and gave them to him.

"Thanks." He smiled and popped them into his mouth.

"I worry about you, Soseki." I took his hand in both of mine and rubbed my thumbs over it. He sighed.

"I know you do." He answered. "Soon."

My heart leapt. Soon. He would tell me soon. I would only have to hang on a little bit longer.

"Thank you." I breathed low enough so that only he would hear.

"I love you." He whispered back. "I never intended to, but I couldn't help myself."

I laughed. "I don't really think anyone ever expects to fall in love. I'm just glad we did."

I rested my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around my shoulder until everyone else had finished eating.

"How are you feeling now?" I asked once our plates had been cleared away.

"Well enough to ask you to dance." He winked. I grinned.

"Aww, let's dance then!"

We both stood and I let him lead me to the dance floor where several other couples were already dancing. he placed his hands on my waist and I had to reach to put my hands on his shoulders. He was so much taller than me, I knew that, but I hadn't realized exactly how much taller he was until now.

We swayed slowly to the music and he slowly drew me closer to his body. I smiled and rested my head against his chest. I could feel and hear his heart beating. He moved his hands up to my back and ran them up and down. I sighed contentedly.

"This will be us one day." He mused. "Hopefully." He added quickly.

I giggled. "Yes, hopefully."

"I do love you, Anya." He said.

"I know that." I told him. "I love you too."

"I just don't want to be one of those guys that doesn't say it enough and leaves you doubting my feelings for you." He elaborated.

"I don't think you could ever be one of those guys, even if you tried." I replied.

"Still..." He mused.

We were quiet again until a faster song came on.

"I'm too old for this." Soseki pulled away.

"No, you're not!" I chuckled, trying to pull him back to the dance floor.

"Really, Anya." He insisted, "I don't think it's a good idea."

The tone of his voice and the expression on his face told me that he was serious. Whether it really was because he was too old, or, more conceivably, for some other reason. I knew I had to drop it. So I did and Soseki led me to a sofa, where we spent a not-so-unpleasant evening cuddling.


	11. Truth

My Fall crops were well underway and Iroha and Sanjay had already returned from their honeymoon when Soseki spoke up.

Since the wedding, I felt like I was on pins and needles with Soseki. I knew he was almost ready to tell me, and that excited me. I wanted to know everything about him, and I knew that whatever this turned out to be, I wouldn't love him any less. I was impatient, but I figured that I had waited this long, I could hold out a little longer until he was ready to let me in.

He surprised me by showing up on the farm early in the morning. Well, early for Soseki. I was up at 6:00 every morning to get my chores done, but I knew Soseki liked to sleep in until at least 9:00. So I was a bit shocked when he strolled into the field at 8:30.

"Hey, hon." I smiled and straightened up, wiping the sweat from my forehead. I was almost done watering the crops, my last chore for the day.

He didn't smile back. That was my second sign that this was not going to be one of our usual hangouts.

"What's up?" I pulled my gloves off and quickly crossed the distance between us. I placed a hand on his arm while he looked at the ground. When my hand made contact, he lifted his chin and looked me in the eyes.

"There's something I need to tell you." He said so softly that it was barely audible.

My heart leapt. This was it. He was going to tell me. I had been waiting for this day for so long, I could hardly believe that it was here.

"Do you want to come inside?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No, I want to tell you now before I change my mind." He replied. He took a deep breath, "Whew, this is harder than I thought it would be."

I noticed the circles under his eyes then, and how his hair was slightly mussed up, like he had been running his hands through it. How long had he been up? Had he even gone to bed? Still, I waited patiently. I grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"I have cancer."

I froze. I had _not_ been expecting that. Actually, I hadn't really known what to expect, but certainly not this. He took my hand that was gripping his with both of his hands and bent down closer to my level. Now it was his turn to comfort me. All of a sudden, I couldn't breathe and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. There was a whooshing sound in my ears and I was very afraid that I would pass out. I blinked a few times, trying to clear the blank spots in my vision.

"C-cancer?" I stuttered, I had to have heard him wrong.

"Stomach cancer, that's why I get sick to my stomach so often." He bent down lower so he was looking directly in my eyes. I felt so small. "The tumour is blocking my pyloric valve, which connects my stomach to the small intestine, and it takes longer for me to digest food."

"How long have you known?" I breathed.

"Two years." He answered. "That's why I came here, I refused treatment, I thought that if this was what the Harvest Goddess wanted for me, then I wouldn't interfere. I wanted to be somewhere peaceful, natural and beautiful until I died."

At his last word, I burst into tears. He didn't want treatment, he was ready to let his disease kill him. He was ready to leave me!

He let go of my hands to wrap his around me, holding me close to him and letting me soak his shirt with my tears.

"I love you, Anya." He whispered. His voice was shaky too.

"Then why do you want to leave me?" I sobbed.

"I don't want to leave you!" He exclaimed, stepping back to look me in the face again. He still held me shoulders, rubbing them softly. "When I refused treatment, I didn't think that I meant or would even mean anything to anyone. Then you came along and I fell in love with you. That's why I pulled away in the beginning, I didn't want it to happen and then have to leave you. But it did happen, and I've had to re-evaluate my decision."

"And?" I demanded.

"I still don't know." He admitted.

I wanted to scream. He didn't know if he wanted to die, or take the chance of getting rid of the cancer and being with me. How was I supposed to feel? He didn't love me like I thought he did. He didn't love me like I loved him. If it were me, I'd do everything possible to stay with him for the rest of my life. Obviously, he didn't feel the same. I wanted to die.

I cried out in anguish and fell in a heap in the soil.

"Anya!" He crouched to the ground and reached out to rub my back. I flinched away.

"You d-don't want to b-be with me." I wept.

"No!" He cried. "I want to be with you more than anything! I love you. This is killing me, I just don't know what to do. My faith has been shaken, I just don't know what to believe anymore."

I buried my face in my hands. Obviously, he wasn't going to believe me.

"Just go." I said quietly.

"Anya," He started. I interrupted.

"Go!" I shouted at him.

I hadn't meant to shout, but I was too distraught to think properly. He was hurting me, that's all I knew, and I wanted him to leave. If he didn't want to be with me, he should have thought of that before he gave me the ring on my finger. I looked down at the ring, I contemplated taking it off and throwing it at him, but I didn't. I didn't want to. For some reason, it gave me hope.

Soseki got up slowly and retreated.

As soon as he was gone, I regretted telling him to go. Like it or not, I loved him. I didn't want him to ever leave. The fact that he had cancer made the time we had together so much more precious. I wasn't thinking clearly, I knew that much.

How could he even talk about marriage and a future for us when he knew there wasn't any chance of it happening? Was he just telling me what he thought I wanted to hear? I didn't want to hear lies, especially from him. Sure, I wanted to get married and start a family, but it was so unfair of him to lead me on like he had.

My crops completely forgotten, I ran back to the house and collapsed on my bed, tears still streaming down my face.

I don't know how long I lay curled up in my blankets, avoiding the world. It could have been hours, it could have been days. I wasn't hungry, I couldn't sleep. My soulmate was dying, and he didn't care enough about me to fight it. Every time I thought about it, I collapsed in another fit of tears.

I eventually remembered my animals. The rooster crowing one morning didn't seem as strong and loud as he usually did. I felt a pang of guilt. Just because my world had shattered didn't mean that my animals had to suffer.

I dragged myself out of bed and headed out the door. The animals were happy to see me. I gave them all an extra helping of food in case I forgot about them again. The crops were browning and drooping. I didn't care so much about them. If it rained, it rained. But for now, I couldn't be bothered with the burden of dragging a watering can through the fields.

I gratefully headed back to the comfort of my bed and crawled under the covers again.

Someone was pounding at my door. I did not want to get up and answer it, especially considering it was... 1:30 in the morning. I groaned. Who was even up at this time of night? Whoever it was wasn't giving up. I realized that it was raining outside and I felt guilty. I sighed and got out of bed to answer the door.

"Oh, I forgot you're a night owl." I said. He was the last person I wanted to see. He had caused me so much pain. But he was also the first person wanted to see, I loved him.

"Can I come in?" His teeth were chattering and I realized how cold it was. It was well into fall and I was getting chilly just standing in the doorway. I stepped aside and let him pass.

"Anya, I know you're mad at me." He got right to the point. I felt the tears gathering at my eyes again. "And you have every right to be. I was stupid, I should have thought it through before I told you. I've spent the past two days with Doctor Klaus, he's been doing tests and talking to me about surgery and chemo and radiation."

I looked up at him. He was thinking about going through with treatment? I dared let a small ray of hope pierce me.

"Anja, I love you." He took my hands with both of his and held them tight. "I want to be with you. I don't want the cancer to get in the way. Doctor Klaus says my cancer is only in the second stage, so there's a really good chance that I'll get better."

"Oh, Soseki!" I cried, tears falling freely down my cheeks. Soseki smiled and wiped them away.

"I don't ever want to leave you." He said softly. He dropped to his knees and my breath caught in my chest. "At least not for another good 50 years! Oh, Anya, I've never been this happy in my entire life. I want to wake up to your beautiful face every morning. I want to walk with you through the woods every day. I want to have children with you, I want to grow old, for real, with you. Anya, will you marry me?"

He reached into his jacket and pulled out a slightly wet and battered blue feather and offered it to me.

"Soseki!" I sobbed. I dropped to my knees too and wrapped my arms around him, sobbing into his shirt again.

"Just say yes, my love." He whispered.

"Yes." I pulled away and smiled. He grinned back and wasted no time in bending down to capture my lips with his.

I brought my hands to his neck, I didn't even care that his hair was wet and cold. He was mine. He was going to be mine forever.


	12. Better

"You're freezing!" I realized once the initial glow of getting engaged wore off. I could feel Soseki shivering. I unwrapped my arms from around him.

"It's a little chilly outside." He chuckled.

"Take a warm shower!" I told him. "I can't let you walk home tonight, you'll sleep here."

His cheeks tinged pink.

"O-on your couch, right?" He asked. My cheeks flushed as well.

"Just warm up first, we'll see how you're doing after your shower." I replied.

He nodded and held out the blue feather to me. I smiled and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him before I took it. He bent down to steal another kiss before he headed for the washroom.

I hurried to my dresser to see if I could find some dry clothes that would fit him. I placed the blue feather on top before I started opening drawers. I came up with an oversized shirt and a pair of boxers that I sometimes wore to bed that were a little big on me. I didn't really care much about how well they fit him, I just didn't want him putting his wet clothes back on.

I knocked on the door, I wasn't sure if he could hear with the water running. I smiled when steam started flowing out from the space between the door and the ground.

"Yeah?" He called from inside.

"I'm leaving some dry clothes for you on the outside of the door." I said.

"Ok, thanks!" He called back.

It was at that point that I realized what _I_ was wearing.

I was wearing an old pair of flannel pyjama pants that were baggy and comfortable. But my top was a very tight tank top, I realized with a pang. It was so small and tight that my boobs were quite prominent and didn't quite fit into. Had Soseki noticed? Who was I kidding, he might be way more mature than most guys I knew, but he was still a guy! I hurried back to my dresser and quickly changed into a looser fitting t-shirt.

I heard the water shut off a few minutes later and heard the door creak open for Soseki to retrieve the clothes I had left for him. He emerged a few moments later, running a towel through his hair. I did a double take.

"Whoa, I hardly recognize you in western clothes!" I exclaimed.

It was true. He looked almost... normal. Except Soseki would never look normal, he was too special to me. Still, it wasn't an unwelcome change. I was very much attracted to him, though that could have something to do with the fact that the shirt was a bit tight on him and showed off his well-defined muscles, and the boxers were short enough for me to see that his legs were pretty muscular as well.

"Don't get too used to it." He warned, "You won't be seeing me like this that often at all."

I laughed.

"You changed your shirt." He commented. I blushed.

"You noticed that, huh?" I said.

"I may act like a grown-up, but won't ignore a shirt like that." He winked. "But I'm glad you changed, we'll save that for after we're married. I don't want to do anything I shouldn't."

"How are you feeling?" I changed the subject.

"Much warmer, thank you." He grinned. I laid the towel neatly over the back of a kitchen chair. "Where should I sleep?"

"You can sleep with me if you like." I answered softly. "I mean, not _with_ me, with me. Just in the bed with me. That couch is really uncomfortable, and I trust you."

He hesitated for a second, and I averted my gaze to the ground. Maybe that was a bit too much to ask of him now. I knew he was super traditional and I really didn't want to tempt him to do something he wasn't comfortable with outside of marriage.

"If you trust me..." He replied. "I suppose we'll have to get used to it soon."

"Only if you're okay with it." I said. "I'm just worried because you were just outside and I want you to stay warm."

"You're so cute when you're worried about me." He smiled and bent down to kiss me again.

"Now where have I heard that before?" I smiled softly, stifling a yawn.

"I'm sorry, I woke you up." He apologized. I laughed out loud.

"Don't apologize!" I exclaimed. "This has been the best night of my life."

"I'm glad." He replied, bringing his arms to my waist, drawing me close and resting his chin on top of my head. I sighed, but interrupted myself with a yawn. "C'mon, let's go to sleep."

I was expecting the transition to the bed to be awkward, but it really wasn't. Or maybe I was just too tired to notice. I turned out the lights and he crawled into bed next to me, wrapping his arms gently around me. The last thing I remember before falling asleep was the soft pounding of the rain on the roof.

I woke up the next morning at the crack of dawn to the rooster crowing. I stretched and then recoiled when I felt something next to me in bed. Then I felt an arm tighten around my waist and I remembered that Soseki had slept over. And we were engaged. I sighed and relaxed into him.

"Mmm..." I heard him moan. "Don't get up yet, it's still early."

I laughed. "It's not for me."

"Stay." He whispered.

I didn't need much convincing. I snuggled up closer to him and sighed happily when I felt his arms tighten around my middle. It didn't take long for me to fall back asleep.

When I woke up again a couple hours later, Soseki wasn't in bed anymore. I sat up and located him quickly in the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" I asked, stretching and yawning.

"Making breakfast." He answered.

I got out of bed and made my way over.

"You don't have to make breakfast, it's my house and you're my guest." I told him.

"Not for much longer." He turned to face me with a grin. I blushed. This was true. "Good morning."

He bent down to kiss me. I could get used to this. Having him around in the morning to make me breakfast and kiss me 'hello'.

A couple minutes later, breakfast was served. He had made pancakes and I brought out from fruit leftover from the summer and some maple syrup.

'Mmm, impressive!" I complimented him.

"Why, thank you." He tucked in to his own plate.

"When do you want to have the wedding?" I asked after a few moments of eating in silence. Butterflies appeared in my stomach at the mere thought that Soseki and I were getting married.

"That's something I wanted to talk to you about." He took a sip of milk before he went on. "I have an appointment with Doctor Klaus today to discuss the surgery. Personally, I want to have the surgery and be recovered before we get married. What do you think? It'll be three weeks after the surgery until I'm back to normal."

"I agree." I replied.

"Thank you." He smiled. "I also think that if we're going to wait a couple weeks until we get married that we should keep our engagement to ourselves."

I nodded. I didn't want people pestering me about planning a wedding while Soseki was recovering. I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could and help him get better before I was bothered by putting a wedding together.

By the time we finished breakfast, it was closer to lunchtime. Soseki watered my crops while I took care of the animals so we would be on time for our appointment with Dr Klaus. I quickly changed out of my work clothes before Soseki took my hand and led me to the clinic.

"Now, I've already explained the procedure to Soseki, has he told you what's involved?" Klaus asked me. I shook my head. He continued. "The type of procedure is called a partial gastrectomy. It involved cutting out the section of the stomach with the tumour and then stapling it shut again. This is ideal because Soseki's tumour is located near the intestines, so it should go fairly smoothly. The procedure itself should only take a couple of hours. I'm prepared to perform it today if Soseki is okay with that."

I turned to Soseki. "What do you think?"

He shrugged. "The sooner it's done, the sooner we can get married." He said low enough so only I could hear it.

"Are you okay with that?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Yeah, let's do it." He turned to Dr Klaus who nodded.

"If you'll come with me, I'll get you a gown and prepare the operating room." He told Soseki. "I'm afraid you won't be allowed in to see the surgery, but I'll inform you the minute the procedure is complete." He told me.

Soseki turned to me and took both my hands.

"Everything is going to be okay. You don't need to worry about me, I have complete faith in Dr Klaus." He assured me.

"I know, but it's still surgery. I'll worry." I told him.

He bent down and kissed me quickly, because Klaus was still watching.

"I'll be alright." He rested his forehead against mine. "I promise you I'll come out of that operating room cancer-free."

"Okay." I whispered.

He kissed me once more before getting up and following Dr Klaus. Leaving me sitting in the office, reflecting on the past 12 hours and wondering what had just happened.


	13. Smooth

I was surprisingly okay in the waiting room while Soseki was in the operating room. I think it was because I didn't really have any time to prepare myself for the surgery that it hadn't really hit me yet.

I found myself intrigued by the out-of-date magazines in the waiting room. So intrigued that I didn't hear the door to the clinic open.

"There you are!" I nearly jumped out of my seat. "I've been looking all over for you!"

"Jeez, Tina!" I clutched at my pounding heart. "Don't _do_ that!"

"Have you been here all day?" She demanded.

"Well, I slept in... and now I've only been here for about an hour and a half." I explained.

"Rumour has it that Soseki spent the night at your house last night." She said. I snapped my head up in her direction.

"What?" I asked. I would have to be super careful now. This was Tina, she would do anything for a scoop and the last thing I needed was all of Echo Village thinking Soseki and I were having sex.

"I have my sources." She replied. "He was seen walking towards your house late last night and no one saw him leave until this morning."

"Why are you telling me this if you already have your mind made up as to what happened?" I asked.

"Because I want to hear it from you." She said, her expression slightly softer.

"So you can publish it in the newspaper?" I raised my eyebrows. She sighed.

"It's my job! C'mon, you can't not tell me." She persisted.

"I'll tell you, but only because you're my friend and only if you promise not to publish it." I reasoned.

"Aww, that's no fun!" She whined.

"Suit yourself." I shrugged and retrieved the magazine from the floor.

"No! I wanna know!" She stamped her foot.

"I just don't want the whole village finding out." I explained.

He sighed again and ran her hands through her hair. She paced for a couple seconds.

"Okay, fine! I won't tell anyone! Now please tell me!" She gave up. I smiled.

"I hate to disappoint you..." I started. "He just slept over, I didn't want to make him walk home in the rain. No sex."

Okay, so it wasn't entirely true, but that's all she needed to know. Our engagement was staying a secret. Even though Tina was a good friend and I felt bad about it, I couldn't risk telling her. Soseki did not need to deal with the whole town excited about a wedding while he was trying to recover.

"What?!" She shrieked. "You had me all worked up about nothing?"

"It's not my fault you decided to stalk my boyfriend!" I reminded her.

Tina sighed again and slumped into a chair across from me.

"What are you doing here anyway?" She asked. "And where's Dr Klaus?"

"Soseki's having surgery." I said.

"What?!" She shrieked again. "Why?"

"It's not really my place to tell." I told her. "You can ask Soseki when he's recovered a bit, but I don't want to break his trust by telling you."

"Fine." She slumped again. "I guess that's fair."

"Sorry, I wish I could tell you more. I'm sure you'll find out soon enough." I assured her.

"I hope so." She replied.

"So..." I struggled to think of something else to talk about, but still wanted to get her out before Soseki came out of surgery. "How are things with you and Rod?"

She grinned. "They're really good."

"Yeah?" I asked.

"That's why I was kind of hoping something had happened between you and Soseki, because Rod and I are moving pretty fast." She went on.

"Moving pretty fast?" I repeated. I had the satisfaction of seeing her cheeks darken for once.

"Well..." She hesitated. "We've had sex. Several times."

My mouth dropped open. I mentally tried calculating how long it had been since they started dating. About three weeks. If that. They've had sex already?

Still... If Soseki had overheard Neil and Rod discussing having sex after the third date, this shouldn't really come as a surprise. Maybe Soseki and I were just a bit more traditional than some people. She was biting her lip, waiting for my reaction. I felt bad.

"How was it?" I asked. She relaxed.

"It's was amazing." She brought her knees up and hugged them. "I mean, it hurt the first time, but every time after that has just been so fantastic."

"I'm glad you're happy." I told her, smiling gently and placing a hand on her knee.

"Oh, good!" She smiled back. "I was worried you'd be upset."

"I'm not upset." I replied. "Everybody's different, every relationship is different. Soseki and I want to save sex for marriage, and that works for us. But if you and Rod don't, that's totally fine, too."

"Thanks." She grinned.

Tina only stayed for a little while longer before she left, claiming she needed to find a real scoop for the next newspaper, leaving me alone in the waiting room.

I was a little sad to see her go, she had done a good job of distracting my from worrying about Soseki. It had been over two hours since Dr Klaus had taken him into the operating room and I had gone through most of the magazines. Finding it hard to concentrate on the rest, I gave it up and got up to pace across the clinic.

I had barely made it to the bookshelves when the doors to the operating room burst open. I whipped around. Dr Klaus was backing out, pulling my unconscious fiancé out after him on a gurney. I rushed over to help him.

"How is he?" I asked, one hand on the bed and the other brushing his hair out of his face.

"He did very well," Dr Klaus replied. "The procedure went smoothly, no complications, he should wake up within the next twenty minutes."

"Thank you." I sighed in relief. Dr Klaus settled the bed in an empty space and locked the wheels, then set the IV pole beside it.

"I need to chart the procedure, I'll leave him with you." Dr Klaus said. "If you could let me know when he wake up, I'll do an assessment and make sure everything's okay."

"Yeah, for sure." I nodded, still looking at Soseki's peaceful face.

I pulled up a chair to his bedside to wait. His breathing was slow and gentle, he could have been sleeping, except he wasn't snoring. I knew from last night that he could snore.

I put my hand to his face to brush more of his hair out of the way.

"Mmm, so shiny." His eyelids fluttered opened and he brought his hand to take my left hand. I smiled.

"What's so shiny, hon?" I asked, trying to hold back a giggle. Must be the anaestheic. I knew people said really weird things when they still had drugs in their system. He probably wouldn't remember any of this when he woke up for real.

"The ring." He mumbled, his eyes still not fully open. "Can I have it?"

"No, it's mine!" I laughed. "You gave it to me, remember?"

"Oh, right." He closed his eyes.

"You'll get your own in a few weeks." I assured him.

"Yeah." I could tell he was still really sleepy.

Dr Klaus arrived.

"How are you feeling, Soseki?" He asked, reaching to take his pulse.

"Sleepy." Soseki yawned.

"Any pain?"

"No." He replied, closing his eyes again.

"I'm just going to finish your vitals and then you can go back to sleep." Dr Klaus explained.

"Mmm." Soseki held out his arm for the blood pressure cuff.

Dr Klaus finished up a few minutes later.

"Everything looks good, Soseki." He said. "You can go back to sleep."

Soseki didn't need any more prompting before he instantly fell back asleep.


	14. So Soon

"How are you feeling?" I asked Soseki about a week after the surgery. He probably could have gone home, but Dr Klaus had the means to keep him in the clinic for as long as was needed, so Soseki stayed. He had had a tube that went to his small intestine after the surgery and wasn't allowed to eat or drink until about two days ago. The IV was still there for pain medication and to keep him hydrated.

Since Dr Klaus didn't mind me sitting on the bed, that's where I was sitting now, with me knees folded under me and Soseki's head in my lap. I had a feeling that Dr Klaus knew that we were planning on getting married. With the amount of time we spent together in the clinic and the way and things we talked about, he had to have an inkling.

"It hurts a bit, but its manageable." He answered.

"Are you sure?" I asked, "I could get Dr Klaus to give you some pain medication."

He chuckled and reached out for my hand.

"Believe me, I don't need to get hooked on morphine." He assured me. "Besides, you're a good distraction."

We sat for a few more minutes, holding hands on the bed. I actually thought Soseki had fallen asleep again when he spoke up.

"Have you thought about when you want to get married?" He asked in a low voice.

"You mean, what day?" I replied.

"Yeah," He answered, "Three weeks after the surgery would be Winter third."

"Are you saying you want to get married then?" I asked. That seemed a bit crazy to me. I didn't want to have a wedding as soon as he was recovered. What if something went wrong?

"Well, that's a Wednesday. We could wait until the Saturday, the sixth." He replied.

"Okay, if you're sure you'll be up for it..." I said.

"I'll be fine." He assured me. "I'll help with the planning while I'm recovering."

"Don't worry about that! I'm sure I can handle the wedding on my own."

"Anya." He placed a hand on my knee. "I want to have a part in this. I know a lot of people think all the guy has to do it propose and then show up on the day, but I want this day to be really special for both of us."

I smiled and bent over to kiss his forehead. So that was that.

The one great thing about waiting so long to get married was that I had a lot of time to get my wedding dress. Rather, Yuri had plenty of time to make my wedding dress.

The day after Soseki's surgery, once Dr Klaus had assured me that his condition was stable, I visited Yuri's store and explained the situation. Together, we went through bridal magazines and books and decided on a dress. Since we had at least three weeks until the wedding, I didn't feel bad about asking for the beading and lace that I had always wanted for my dress. I paid half and Yuri assured me that it would be ready on time and they she would keep our secret.

Soseki was released ten days after his surgery. He was supposed to be on bed rest, and he really was too happy to comply. The next day, I invited Tina over for tea and revealed the fact that Soseki and I were engaged. By the end of the day, the entire village knew and most of the villagers had given either me or Soseki their own two cents.

Soseki stayed true to his word on helping out with the wedding. I spent most of my time at his house, or him at mine, to pull everything together. Soseki's first priority was choosing the wedding rings. So we visited Iroha and decided on a simple gold band for Soseki and a silver one for me to match the ring I already had.

I went back to Yuri for a fitting and as very impressed with the way the dress was coming along. Soseki was also fitted for a tuxedo, though neither of us saw each other in our wedding attire, me because I wanted Soseki to be surprised when he saw me in my dress for the first time on our wedding day, and Soseki because he didn't want anyone to see him in western style clothing unless it was absolutely necessary.

After that, there wasn't really much to do. Clement had agreed to cater and host the reception and Dunhill had offered to officiate. Flowers needed to be done the day of the wedding, something we had trusted to Emma and Hanna, and we had booked our flight with Charles to the Southern Island for the day after the wedding. We were planning on staying for two weeks since Emma and Neil had offered to take care of my crops and animals while we were gone.

"There's still one more thing we have to talk about." Soseki told me three days before the wedding.

We were at his house and he had just made me dinner. He was doing really well, already back to his usual activities, but he wouldn't admit it to me. He liked having me worry about him and spend so much time with him to make sure he was comfortable. He was milking this for all it was worth. I didn't mind, I just hoped it wouldn't last for our entire marriage!

"What's that?" I leaned on my elbows, staring at him across the table and looked at him.

"Kids." He said simply, though his expression was pretty anxious.

We hadn't discussed kids before. Ever. What did he want me to say? Did he want kids? I had no idea. I had to be cautious.

"What about them?" I asked slowly.

"How do you feel about them?" He asked.

"I would like kids eventually." I replied. He smiled. I relaxed. Right answer.

"How many?" He asked.

"Hmm... at least two, maybe three." I answered.

He reached out and took my hand.

"I want kids too." He said. "Kids are something I've always wanted, but since I've been diagnoses with cancer, it's something I've completely written off. Then I met you, and realized that I wasn't going to lose you and you want kids too, you have no idea how happy that makes me."

I grinned and placed my other hand on top of his.

"When?" I asked.

He exhaled and leaned back in his seat, still holding on to my hand. "Maybe a couple years. I feel like we've known each other forever, but it's only been a couple seasons. I think that it should be just us for a bit until we start adding to the family."

"Agreed." I smiled.

"Three days." He grinned.

"Three days." I repeated.


	15. Night Before

Those three days went by quicker than I expected. It was as if before I could really register what was happening, most of the girls in the village had arrived at my house and Soseki was kissing me 'goodnight' on our last night of being just boyfriend and girlfriend.

"By this time tomorrow, we'll be married." I mused out loud. He chuckled.

"Don't tell me you're having second thoughts." He winked.

"No, it's not that." I assured him. "I just can't believe it's actually happening."

"It'll probably all be over before you believe it." He kissed my forehead.

"Are you actually going to sleep?" I teased him.

"I probably should, but I don't know if I will." He replied. "I'm a little excited."

"So am I." I smiled. "But try to get a little sleep, tomorrow will be a long day."

"C'mon, you guys will have all day tomorrow for that!" Tina called from inside. Soseki laughed.

"Goodnight, Anya." He bent down to kiss me once more.

"Goodnight, Soseki." I breathed back.

At that, he turned and disappeared into the night.

Leaving me to deal with the bachelorette party inside.

"So, what's the plan here?" I asked nervously. I had never been to a bachelorette party before, so I had no idea what to expect, especially considering everyone in attendance seemed to be acting a bit crazier than usual, letting go of some of their inhibitions. There was more alcohol in my house then I had ever had since moving here.

Felicity shoved a drink into my hand.

"Just have fun! It's your last night being single!" She replied.

I wanted to roll my eyes, but I didn't. So I took a drink.

There was a knock on the door. Tina bolted over to open it. It was Yuri with the dress.

"Eeee!" Tina screeched. "Is this your dress? Can I see?"

"Be careful!" I hurried over as Tina started unzipping the garment bag. I don't know how much she had to drink, but I didn't really want her handling my dress in her current state.

I took the bag from her and sipped it back up.

"You'll all get to see it tomorrow." I assured them and hurried to put it away in my wardrobe where, hopefully, no one would disturb it until tomorrow. "Do you want to stay, Yuri?"

"I don't think so, I should be getting home." She told me.

"Can I come with you?" I whispered. She cracked a smile.

"You're more than welcome, but do you really trust all these girls alone in your house?"

"I guess that's true." I sighed.

"Here, I made you this for tomorrow night." She handed me a brown bag with white tissue paper. "This is from my mom." She handed me box wrapped in purple paper.

"Thanks." I blushed. If her gift was for tomorrow _night_, I had an inkling of what it was. Especially considering Yuri was a seamstress. "And thank your mom for me, too!"

"I will, have fun." She waved and walked back out into the night.

"What is it?" Michelle took the bag from me. I snatched it back and realized everyone's eyes were on me and they were all encouraging me to open the bag. I sighed again and pulled the paper away. Inside was a white, lacy corset with matching underwear.

"Oooh!" They all chorused.

"Here, open mine!" Tina handed me a similar bag. I opened it to reveal a shirt, translucent, peach-coloured nightgown with a matching thong. I felt my cheeks go red.

"Um... thank you." I said hesitantly. Felicity gave me her package next which turned out to be a light blue silk teddy. I was sensing a theme here.

Iroha and Michelle also gave gifts or lingerie, and when I opened Emma's gift, it also turned out to be a dark green, lace piece. I had to ask why.

"Why the theme here?" I asked, gazing warily at my new collection of lingerie.

"Well," Tina started. "You already have all the householdy stuff you and Soseki will need, but when we went through your drawers, we couldn't find one single piece of sexy underwear."

"You went through my drawers?" I exclaimed. "When did you do that?"

"You've been spending so much time at Soseki's house since you guys got engaged and you never lock your door, so it wasn't really that hard." Tina waved it off like this detail was insignificant.

"Besides, Soseki will really appreciate it." Felicity winked. I felt my blush come back.

"Yeah, he may pretend he's above all this, but he's still a guy." Michelle added.

I covered my face with my hands. Soseki and I hadn't really discussed _that_ part of our marriage yet. All we had really talked about waiting a couple years to have kids and that we would spend tomorrow night at his house because he had a bigger bed. And even that had us both flustered. Now I was getting butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it.

"Don't worry, it'll be okay." Iroha must have noticed the worry on my face. "Sure, it's awkward the first time, but it gets a lot better once you get used to each other."

"Really?" I looked up at her. She placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, really." She assured me. "Soseki loves you very much, so it'll be special for you two. He'll take care of you and make sure you're comfortable with anything he does."

"Thanks, Iroha." I managed a small smile.

The rooster woke me up bright and early the next morning. I could almost hear the wedding bells ringing, I was so excited. I jumped out of bed and threw on a pair of jeans and put my winter coat on over my tank top and headed out to the fields...

...And found them already occupied.

"What are you guys doing here?" I called.

"It's your wedding day!" Emma called back cheerfully. "You need to focus on getting ready!"

"But the ceremony isn't until 2 o'clock!" I laughed. "I'll have plenty of time to get everything done."

"Then go back to bed, don't worry about the farm today!" Dunhill said.

I shrugged, I guess there wasn't much I could do to convince them to stop if they already had their minds made up. Though I knew there was no way I was going to be able to go back to sleep. It was my wedding day, my nerves and adrenaline were high.

All the other girls were still sleeping, so I quietly went to the kitchen and started making breakfast. By the time it as ready, everyone was still sleeping. I ate a few eggs and some bacon and then realized that I only had about four hours of sleep last night. I tiptoed back to my bed and somehow managed to doze off.

I woke up again a few hours later to the sounds of everyone else waking up.

We all sat down to breakfast, I just had a cup of coffee, and then Allen arrived to help with my hair. He curled my normally straight, brown hair and stuck a few bejewelled bobby pins in to calm it down a bit. Then he attached the veil. Felicity did my makeup and then Yuri came over to help me into my lingerie and then the dress. I felt Tina slip a garter onto my leg and I felt my cheeks flush.

Before I really knew what was happening, I was bring rushed out into the snow to my wedding ceremony. I hardly had time to freak out about anything, I just had to go with it.


	16. Night After

My heart was pounding in my chest as we walked towards the festival grounds. Was Soseki already there? It was so cold, I was glad the wedding ceremony here was a short one. We must have looked like an odd pack travelling. With me holding the front of my dress up and Tina and Iroha behind me holding the train. And everyone else laughing, escorting me to the ceremony.

Soseki was waiting when we got there. Again, I hardly recognized him in western clothing. The suit was grey and he wore a white shirt with a dark yellow ascot. I almost melted, but I knew better than to expect him to wear clothes like this ever again. Allen quickly flipped the veil over my face.

"You look so beautiful." Soseki hurried over and took my hands. Allen was fussing over my hair and veil again, but I didn't care, there was only one person I was paying attention to today.

"You look really handsome." I winked. He scowled. "I know, I won't get used to it."

He gave my hands a squeeze. "This is it."

I smiled, the thumping returning to my heart.

Tina handed me a bouquet of flowers and pinned a snowdrop to Soseki's lapel.

"We're ready for you!" She grinned. True enough, everyone else was already sitting down and Dunhill was waiting at the end of the aisle.

"Are you ready?" Soseki asked.

"Of course I am!" I replied, "The sooner we get married, the sooner we can go inside."

He chuckled and offered me his arm, I looped mine through his and allowed him to escort me down the aisle.

The walk felt like forever. The entire village was there, and I felt like the main attraction in some kind of show, everyone was smiling and looking at us as we walked, and I was grateful the walk wasn't long and we arrived at the altar soon.

"Dearly beloved," Dunhill started, "We are gathered here today to bear witness to the joining of Soseki and Anya as husband and wife. If anyone has just cause for this couple not to be joined in marriage, please speak now, or forever hold your peace."

I clung to Soseki a bit tighter, though I knew no one had any reason why we couldn't be married.

"Soseki, do you take Anya to be your wife from this day forward in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, from this day forward until death do you part? Do you promise to love her, care for her and to respect her for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." Soseki smiled and took the ring Dunhill held out to him and placed it in my finger. His hands were shaking, from the cold or from nerves, I had no idea. I knew my hands were primarily shaking because of how nervous I was.

"Anya, do you take Soseki to be your husband from this day forward in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, from this day forward until death do you part? Do you promise to love him, care for him and to respect him for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." My voice cracked a bit. I took the ring from Dunhill and shakily managed to get it on Soseki's finger.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife." Dunhill clapped his hands together. "You can kiss your bride!"

Soseki and I turned to face each other, stupid grins on both of our faces. Soseki lifted the veil from my face, placed his hands on my arms and took a step closer. I stood on my tiptoes and he bent down and we shared our first kiss as husband and wife. He moves his hands to my back and I clutched at his arms as he pulled me closer and pressed his lips closer against mine.

I didn't even hear the applause and cheering until we broke apart. We laughed, still holding each other and relaxed into a hug. We were married. The ceremony was so fast, it didn't feel real yet.

Soseki let go of me and shivered from the cold that his warm body had been shielding me from. He took my hand and we hurried back up the aisle. Once we were outside of the festival grounds, I shrieked as Soseki placed his hands on my waist and lifted me up into the air. I gripped his shoulders and laughed as he spun me around.

He lowered me, but not completely, just so that we were at eye level with each other.

"I love you." He breathed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his neck.

"I love you, too." I whispered back.

He held me for a few more moments before he placed me back on the ground, offered me his arm, and took me to Clement's restaurant for dinner.

Dinner was supposed to be an intimate affair, but that was nearly impossible with the entire village in attendance. Still, I didn't mind the lively music, dragging Soseki to the dance floor and making him dance with me. He had a good time, I could tell, but I knew I would have a hard time getting him to admit it.

Clement made a beautiful cake, which Soseki and I cut together, and near the end of the evening, I tossed my bouquet, which was caught very aggressively by Tina. Soseki removed my garter and I felt shivers as his hands brushed my legs. I was getting flustered already, and we weren't even alone together yet.

Amir caught the garter, he looked just as surprised as anyone and tried to pass it off to someone else, but without luck.

Then it was time for Soseki and I to head back to his house for the night.

I hugged pretty much everyone once more before we left, everyone giving words of congratulations, and Iroha, Tina and Felicity offering encouragement and advice for what Soseki and I would be doing very soon.

Needless to say, my face was burning when Soseki took my hand once again, waved to the rest of the villagers, and led me out into the night.

I don't know if I was glad the walk to his house was short or not. I was glad because I wouldn't have time to worry about our wedding night before it was upon us and we wouldn't be out in the cold for long, but I was freaking out because I had no idea what Soseki expected of me and I had never done this before.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, wrapped an arm around me to keep me warm.

"So happy." I smiled up at him. This wasn't a lie, I _was_ really happy. I had just married the man of my dreams.

"So am I." He replied. We approached his house and he scooped me up in his arms. I cried out.

"What are you doing?" I giggled nervously.

"Carrying you over the threshold." He replied. "I believe it's for good luck."

I just wrapped my arms around his neck and snuggled into his body. Despite my anxiousness for what was about to happen, I felt so safe in Soseki's arms. I knew he would protect me. He wouldn't hurt me.

Soseki kicked the door open and carried me inside. I worried for a second that he would just drop me on the bed and I would have no time to mentally prepare myself for anything. But he didn't. He put me down gently just beside the bed and rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding my eyes.

"I'll admit I'm pretty nervous for this." He said softly. I relaxed a bit. He was nervous too, he could have fooled me with the whole carrying-over-the-threshold bit.

"I'm a little scared too." I admitted. He looked up and me and quickly closed the distance between us.

"Oh, Anya." He wrapped his arms around me. "You don't have to be scared. I don't really know what to expect, but I know that there's no reason to be afraid. I'll be gentle, I promise."

His words made me feel infinitely better. I leaned into his body, feeling so in love with him, I knew he would keep his word. He was just as new at this as I was.

"Do you mind if I go freshen up a bit?" I asked, pulling away slowly.

"No," He said quickly. "Take all the time you need."

I smiled gratefully, kissed him on the cheek and went into his washroom.

Once the door was shut, I sighed and leaned over the sink. Soseki's words had comforted me, but I was still incredibly nervous. At least I had time now t prepare myself a bit. I turned the tap on and splashed cold water on my face, washing the makeup off. I winced as I pulled hairpins out of my hair and detached the veil. I hung it carefully over the shower curtain.

Next was the dress. I debated keeping it on, but I knew from this morning that it was a complicated process to put on, and I didn't want the added awkwardness of Soseki fumbling to get my dress off on top of everything else. Just the thought alone made me flush and a pulsing start between my legs. I tried to ignore it while I untied the corset back of the dress, but soon realized that it was impossible. There was no doubt that I wanted Soseki, no matter how nervous I was. Especially now that I knew it was going to happen probably within the next hour.

I shimmied out of the dress and hung it over the shower curtain too. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and blushed even darker. I was definitely not used to seeing myself like this. However, with the amount of lingerie I had received last night, I knew that I would probably have. Or at least Soseki would. Thankfully, I found Soseki's bathrobe hanging on the back of the door. I put it on.

I knew I couldn't delay much longer. Sure, Soseki had told me to take as long as I needed, but this throbbing between my legs was new to me, and I knew he might be able to help with that. I also knew that he wanted it too. It was silly of me to stay in here, I looked at my reflection in the mirror, remembering what Iroha had told me last night. She had said that this would be special, and that Soseki loves me very much, he'd be gentle. That was a comfort. I took a deep breath and left the washroom before I could change my mind.

Soseki was pacing, his jacket and tie discarded with a couple buttons of his shirt undone. I would have laughed if I wasn't so nervous myself. He looked up when he heard me come out.

"Are you okay?" He asked, swiftly crossing the distance between us.

"I'm... fine." I replied. "Still a bit nervous."

I noticed that he had lit a few candles on his night stand, on the kitchen table and bookshelves. The smell was nice, it helped relax me.

"Come here." He opened his arms and I gratefully stepped into them. I placed my hands on his chest and sighed contentedly as he rubbed my back. "You have to tell me if I hurt you."

"I will." I breathed back. We stood there for a few moments. I had a feeling I might just be calming him down as much as he was calming me down.

"Do you mind if I turn down the lights?" He asked cautiously.

"No." I answered. He let me go and turned away to dim the lights. I sat down on the bed, trying not to look awkward or nervous. He turned back and joined me on the bed.

"What are you hiding under there?" He smiled softly and made to touch the bathrobe, but pulled away before he did. I smiled back.

"Just something Yuri made for me." I replied.

"Can I see?" He asked.

"Of course." I answered, my voice cracking. This was it. Moment of truth. I undid the belt and pulled the robe off, revealing the white wedding night ensemble. "I hope it's not—"

"Anya, you're beautiful." Soseki interrupted me. At that, he cupped my cheeks and gently brought his lips to mine. He pressed gently, yet insistently against mine. This was it. No turning back now. I brought my hands to his cheeks and scooted closer to him.

The pounding between my legs was starting to get a little out of control at this point. I felt Soseki's tongue press tentatively against my lips and I opened tentatively to let him in. I sighed as I felt his warm, minty breath and his tongue exploring my mouth. I moved my own tongue to meet his and felt his own sigh of contentment.

He moved his hands away from me and it took a moment for me to realize that he was unbuttoning his vest. As soon as it was off, he brought them back to my waist and gently pulled me down to the bed so we were laying side by side. He caressed the curve of my waist and I felt shivers everywhere he touched. With shaking hands, I moved them down his chest while still trying to concentrate on the movements of my lips and tongue against his.

He broke off to rest his forehead against mine, both of us gasping for air. He didn't say anything, but he brought his hands to his shirt and undid the rest of the buttons before casting it aside and then reaching to pull me flush against his body. I couldn't control my moan as I felt his mouth at my neck and shoulders. I laced my hands under his arms and clung to him, squeezing with each wave of pleasure. I felt his hands at my back again, running up and down, trying to figure out how to get the top off, I realized.

He found the string and pulled, undoing the knot. I pulled away slightly, a small smile playing at my lips. I moved my hands to his, gently pushing them away as I pulled the garment apart and peeling it off my body.

Now I was extremely self-conscious. My whole torso was exposed for him to see. His eyes widened slightly and he tentatively placed his hands on my waist, slowly working his way up. He stopped when he reached the bottom of my breasts. I held my breath and then moaned when he touched them softly. My nipples hardened and I arched my back into his touch. Encouraged, he placed a hand on each breast and kneaded them gently. I could hardly control my actions now. It felt like something was dripping from my nether regions and I could feel something hard pressing into me from his direction. I moaned again when I realized what it was. I moved my hips down to meet his and heard him moan in response.

He gripped my waist again and swung a leg around me. Before I knew what was happening, he was straddling me, fumbling with his belt buckle and undoing his pants. I blushed deeper as he pulled his pants and underwear off in one swift motion and lowered himself back to me, reattaching our lips. I ran my hands through his hair as he thrust his tongue eagerly into my mouth.

This wasn't so bad. In fact, it was incredible. I couldn't believe I had been so nervous about this. I felt his hands on my waist again and lifted my hips to help him remove my underwear. I wrapped my arms under his shoulders and he pulled his lips from mine to hover over me.

"Remember, tell me if I hurt you." He whispered, panting for air. I gulped nervously. I had almost forgotten that both Tina and Iroha had told me that it would hurt the first time. I felt myself tighten and subconsciously knew that it would hurt more this way, so I tried to relax. I nodded to Soseki and pulled myself up flush against his body. He brushed some hair from my face and inhaled deeply. I could feel his hardness just outside of me. I tried to relax, but it wasn't really doing any good. Oh well, it was going to hurt anyway, what was the point.

He entered slowly and I moaned again at how good it felt. I could feel Soseki exhale on my neck and knew he was enjoying this just as much. He kept pushing in slowly and I cried out with the pain that was coming with his gradual entrance.

"A-are you...okay?" Soseki asked breathlessly. He was enjoying this immensely, I knew that, but when he pulled back to look me in the eyes, his were full of concern.

"Just keep going, it isn't so bad." I panted. He complied, though he moved a bit slower.

The pain increased as he moved further and further. I gasped when he was fully inside, gripping his shoulders tightly.

Soseki knew I was in pain without asking, he held perfectly still and pressed his lips to my forehead. He brushed my hair away and held my gaze, waiting patiently for me to let him know when it was okay.

"Okay, I think I'm ready." I said after a few moments.

"Are you sure?" He asked. The candles were casting such a romantic glow on his face that it was impossible for me to not be attracted to him. I felt like I was dripping again and ground my hips into his. He moaned.

"Mmm, yes." I replied.

At that, he pulled out and entered again slowly, though not nearly as slow as the first time. I cried out, half in pain, and half in unbelievable pleasure. He thrust again, a bit faster and harder. And again. This new feeling of crazy pleasure was quickly overwhelming the pain.

"Oh, Anya!" Soseki moaned.

"Soseki..." I cried out. He kept thrusting and I arched my back and lifting my hips to meet his.

Something was beginning to build in me. A warmth just behind my belly button that was quickly spreading all over my abdomen, especially to the place where Soseki and I were connected. As Soseki quickened and thrust with more power, I knew I wasn't going to last much longer.

"Anya!" He cried out, his eyes flying open. "Nnnngh!"

I felt him explode and the warmth in my abdomen couldn't take it any longer. With a few more rocks into Soseki, we were climaxing together. Both of us moaning and pressing our sweaty bodies together.

He rolled off when he was done, but still held me tight in his arms.

"Oh, my beautiful, beautiful bride." He breathed. "I love you."

"I love you too." I replied with a smiled and brushed my lips softly against his. He took my face in his hands and prolonged the kiss.

"I'm sorry." He said as we broke apart.

"What for?" I replied, shocked he would even say such a thing. That was the most amazing experience of my life.

"I hurt you." He reminded me. I grinned slowly.

"Only for a minute." I assured him. "I'll be okay."

"Good." He wrapped his arms around me and I couldn't help but notice that he was still inside me. Not that I minded. It felt nice being connected to him like this.

He pulled away and kissed me again before he pulled out and climbed out of bed.

"Where are you going?" I asked, sitting up. He chuckled.

"I need to put out the candles." He explained.

"Oh." I fell back into bed. "You'd better come back, I still want to cuddle."

"Don't worry." He winked as he pulled his boxers back on. "Tina dropped some pyjamas off."

He threw a pair of my short shorts and my skin-tight tank top at me. I almost giggled out loud. How could she have known? I pulled them on and settled myself under the covers as Soseki finished extinguishing the candles.

When he was done, he crawled under the covers with me and instantly had his arms around me.

"I remember this shirt." He said, running his hands up my waist. I giggled and rested my head against his chest. "Oh, Anya, this has been the best day of my life."

"Mine too." I whispered back. He placed his hands on the small of my back and pulled me closer to his bare chest. I kissed his shoulder and sighed contentedly, which turned quickly into a yawn.

"Goodnight my beautiful wife." He whispered. I realized that this was still early for him. I wondered if he would actually go to sleep, but at this point, I was really too tired to care.

"Goodnight my wonderful husband." I breathed back. With one more yawn, I closed my eyes and relaxed into his body.

**A/N:** Holy crap, this turned out a lot longer then I thought! Hope you enjoyed! Reviews? :)


	17. South

The sun was well in the sky when I woke up the next morning. My first thought was to jump out of bed to check on my animals, but a very strong arm strewn over my chest prevented that from happening.

Right. I had a husband now. The best husband ever. He was snoring softly, most definitely still asleep, but his grip on my body was strong. I just smiled and snuggled back into him under the blankets. I knew I wasn't going to get anymore sleep, I was too excited. We had just gotten married and we would be leaving in a few hours for our honeymoon.

I realized at that point that I was pretty sore and I smiled when I remembered what had happened last night. That was not as scary as I had been building up in my mind. In fact, once the pain had passed, it was really nice.

He looked so peaceful when he slept. True, he looked peaceful pretty much all the time, but especially when he slept. I could get used to this. I started running my fingers up and down his chest when he woke up.

"Mmm," He didn't even open his eyes when he turned on his side so he was facing me and pulled me tight against his body. I was taken aback, it was like we had been doing this for years.

"Good morning." I whispered.

"Good morning, love." He cracked his eyes open and pressed his lips to my forehead.

We snuggled for a moment before his eyes flew open.

"Are you okay?" He asked suddenly, sitting up in bed.

"Soseki, I'm fine!" I assured him.

"But... I hurt you last night!" He reminded me.

"Oh, that." I smiled softly. "A little sore, but I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" He persisted.

I pressed my hands on his chest, gently pushing him back down to the bed, then I kissed him lightly, settling myself on top of him.

"I'm sure." I breathed.

"Mmmm." I could feel him smiling through the kiss and he pushed the small of by back down to his body. I was already starting to get so aroused.

"What time is it?" I asked. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew we didn't have time for this if we wanted to have enough time to shower, finish packing and get ready to leave for our honeymoon.

"Don't worry about it." He whispered, slowly moving his hands up my waist and I knew I would soon be powerless to anything he would do.

"Seriously, Soseki, we should start getting ready." I pulled away. "Don't get me, I want nothing better than to stay in bed with you all day, but we'll have plenty of time to fool around when we have Southern Island all to ourselves."

"Okay." He smiled softly and let me go. I kissed him once more and got up to go to the washroom.

A couple hours later, we were on the plane with Charles on our way to Southern Island. Charles gave us a quick tour when we landed, making sure we knew where the food, drinking water and supplies were and then promising to come back in two weeks for us before he flew away.

We dropped our suitcases off in the cabin and changed into more appropriate clothes for the weather. To my surprise, Soseki had put on shorts and a t-shirt.

"What are you wearing?" I asked, a small smile on my lips.

"My normal clothes aren't really practical for this climate." He explained. "Plus, I know you like it when I wear Western clothing, so I thought I could give you a bit of a treat for our honeymoon."

"Aww, you didn't have to!" I wrapped my arms tight around his waist. "But I appreciate it anyway."

He simply wrapped his arms around me too and held me still for a few moments. I was learning that he really like to snuggle. And I had to admit that I really liked the feelings that came with him holding me safe in his arms. Our bodies fit together so perfectly, it was impossible not to feel good when we were together.

"C'mon, Anya!" Soseki took my hand and pulled me towards the door. "New forest to explore!"

I laughed and ran along with him to the path through the forest.

"How are _you_ feeling, Soseki?" I asked.

"Huh?" He looked down at me.

"You're always asking how I'm feeling, I want to know how you're feeling about all of this." I clarified.

He paused for a second, thinking over his answer.

"It's still a bit surreal to me." He replied. "I mean, I'd pretty much forced myself to believe that I would never get married. And then you came along and turned my world upside down." He stopped on the trail and placed his hands on my upper arms. "And now I'm married to the woman of my dreams... and I have her all to myself... alone on an island... for two entire weeks."

"I like the sound of that." I grinned up at him.

After our walk, we fished for dinner, cooked it over the fire and seasoned it with spices we found in the cabin, and accompanied it with a bottle of red wine.

Soseki held my waist as I sat in his lap and we watched the sunset. I settled comfortable into his body and I felt him rest his chin on the top of my head.

"We've been married for over 24 hours now, how does it feel?" he asked as the sun disappeared over the horizon.

"Day one has been a success." I conceded. "It may be too early to tell, but I think I love being married to you."

He chuckled. "Agreed."

"It's getting a bit chilly." I commented after a couple minutes of silence.

"I'm not warming you up properly?" I could hear the smile in his tone.

"That was a hint that I wanted to go inside... where there's a warm bed... and we could practice other exciting new components of our marriage..." I went on.

That was all the prompting he needed.

"Well then, what are we waiting for?" He asked. He scooped me up in his arms and carried me back to the cabin. "You sure you're up for it?"

"Of course I am!" I assured him. "It'll be a lot better this time now that we know what we're doing."

"Okay." He smiled and kissed me on the lips softly, but with so much passion I was glad that he was already holding me because I was sure I would have fallen over if I had been supporting myself.

He placed me gently on the bed and climbed on top of me.

"Wait." I whispered before he could fasten his lips back to mine again.

"What is it, love?" He asked.

"I got so much lingerie for my wedding shower, I would feel bad if I didn't use any of it."

"You have _more_ lingerie?" He raised his eyebrows.

"I didn't used to," I explained, "But the girls found out I didn't have any and made sure I was well supplied before the wedding."

He laughed. "Go on then." He got off me and I crawled out of bed. I picked through my suitcase and found Felicity's blue silk teddy and went to the washroom to change.

I changed quickly. Now I knew what to expect and I knew that I liked it. I couldn't wait to get back to bed with my husband. My husband. I smiled at the thought. I was married to my best friend. He was going to love me for the rest of my life, I had no doubt about that.

I went back to the bedroom. Soseki had undressed to his boxers and was lying on the bed. He whistled when I walked in.

"To whom do I owe this pleasure?" He asked, sitting up and placing his hands on my waist to playfully pull me into him.

"Felicity." I answered with a grin.

"I'll have to remember to thank her when we get back." He whispered.

His words made my stomach tingle and my knees buckle. Soseki took advantage of the moment to lay back in bed and pull me on top of him. His lips sought mine and he latched on quickly. I could care less that my lips were still bruised from last night, I kissed him back hard and sighed softly when he opened his mouth and pushed his tongue into my mouth.

His touch on my waist was light and he left trails of tingles when he moved his hands up and down my back and waist. he was already so hard, him pressing into my groin was only making me more aroused, the pounding between my legs had returned and I quickly found myself breathless. I grinded my hips into his and he moaned into my mouth.

I sat up to pull the teddy over my head and throw it to the ground. I didn't understand the point of lingerie when it didn't stay on for long anyway, but I guess it was the thought that counted, and I knew that Soseki appreciated it.

Soseki pulled me back down to him and flipped me on my back so he could straddle me. He dropped kisses on my breasts and I cried out in pleasure. We had only just started, but I was already so sensitive and so ready to have him in me again. He rocked his lips into mine and the warmth from last night returned ten-fold. I writhed under him, whispering his name between breaths.

He peeled my underwear down my legs and I felt his hand and my entrance, first just pressing into my pelvis, then he moved his fingers down. I moaned and arched my back, lifting my hips up to meet his hand. He rubbed the nub between his fingers and it took all I had not to release right then. I gulped when he let go and pushed a long finger inside me.

"Oh... Soseki..." I moaned. Encouraged, he pumped in and out, putting more fingers in as he did so, quickly finding the place that got the biggest reaction out of me and staying there.

That was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I cried out as I exploded into his hand, his fingers still pressed up against my sweet spot. He pressed his lips against mine and I moaned into them, still releasing.

He pulled his fingers out and let me catch my breath while he pulled his underwear off and climbed back on top of me.

"You ready?" He breathed. I nodded.

He pushed himself into me quickly. He wanted this, needed this. I cried out again as he filled me and placed my hands on his back for support.

He thrust again and again, harder and faster than he had last night and I knew I wasn't going to last for long. He lifted my hips so he would hit the right place and I cried out again.

"Soseki, I'm... so... nnngh!" I cried out as I exploded again and then realized that he had stopped thrusting, he was deep inside me and we had released at the same time.

I held myself close to him and he wrapped his arms under my shoulders and he moaned in unimaginable pleasure. He collapsed on the bed beside me, moving his hands to my back and pulling me close again, both of us covered in sweat and trying to catch our breath.

"Oh, Anya." He whispered, brushing the hair out of my eyes.

I smiled and pressed my mouth into his.

"Soseki." I breathed back. Neither of us said anything, all that needed to be communicated was the love and immense satisfaction in our eyes.


	18. On the Beach

Once the intimacy barrier had been broken, a new Soseki had emerged from his old, reserved and quiet shell. He wasn't afraid to steal kisses or to pull me into the bushes during our walks for a quick, and sometimes not-so-quick, make out session. We were also learning pretty fast what the other liked in bed and were soon at each other's mercy as soon as the lights went out. I liked the new Soseki. I had never expected this of him, I had been prepared to spend the rest of my life with a very reserved and old-fashioned man, so it was a pleasant surprise when this new Soseki came along. I hoped it wasn't just because we were on our honeymoon and that this would continue when we were alone together back home.

If Soseki hadn't come out of his shell, I was pretty sure we wouldn't have shared another experience that I would never forget on our honeymoon.

We only had a few days left on Southern Island and had just enjoyed another fish fry on the beach with a bottle of wine and a blanket underneath us. Dinner was over and the sun was starting to set. Soseki had me in one of my favourite positions, sitting in his lap with his arms wrapped tight around my waist and his chin resting on top of my head.

I twisted in his arms to kiss him gently on the lips. I pulled away and saw him smile softly with his eyes closed. He opened his eyes after a moment and pressed his lips back into mine once more before resting his forehead against mine. He held my upper arms and rubbed his thumbs against them. The sun was casting a really romantic glow over the whole beach and I was nestled so comfortably and safely in his lap. I placed my hands on his chest and pulled myself back up to kiss him properly.

I heard him sigh quietly, but his lips were soon otherwise occupied with my own mouth. I gently started pushing him down to the blanket. He allowed me without question and held me steady on top of him when he was in a lying position. I caressed his topless chest softly and was rewarded with small sighs from his mouth with every touch.

We broke apart and he brought a hand to my hair, still staring wordlessly into my eyes. None of us said anything. Neither of us really had to, we trusted each other completely and knew each other well enough to know that words weren't always needed to fill silences. Especially such an intimate silence like this one. I closed my eyes and gently rested my head on his chest. I could hear his heart pounding beneath his chest and I smiled contentedly.

"Now I understand why there's so much hype around sex on the beach." He said quietly. I chuckled. Then opened my eyes and looked up at him.

"Do you want to?" I asked. He raised his eyebrow at me. I grinned. "We're the only ones here..."

"I want to." He pulled my neck towards him to kiss me softly again.

I giggled and pressed my lips gently into his, our mouths remained closed, kissing only a couple times before pulling away to stare each other in the eyes. He moved his hands to my waist and stroked up and down my back as he held me for a few moments, occasionally leaning down, or me leaning up, to kiss each other.

Once the initial thrill that we were having sex wore off right after we were married, we tried to slow it down a bit more, make it last a bit longer. It was nice having him just hold me safely in his arms and to share more and longer moments of intimacy before it was all over.

After a couple minutes of this, he rolled to his side but still held me flush against his body as he continued to kiss me. This time, holding my lips for a bit longer before pulling away. I ran my fingers through his windblown hair, careful not to pull too hard. He moaned out loud and opened his mouth slowly. He pressed his tongue tentatively to my lips and I gladly opened to let him in. I gripped his shoulders and sighed with pleasure as his familiar tongue wove expertly around my mouth. I pressed into his tongue with mine and was breathless with the sensations it brought. I could feel the pounding between my legs quickly returning and slowly moved my hips towards his.

I hooked my leg up to his waist and felt his sharp intake of breath in response. I knew this was something he liked, something that turned him on quickly. He pulled his mouth from mine to kiss and nibble just below my ear, one of my weak spots. I turned to jelly at his touch and he took advantage of the moment to swing his leg over me to hover over me. He rocked his hips rhythmically into mine and I cried out at the instant pleasure. Maybe this wasn't going to be one of our slower sessions after all.

He brought his hands to the hem of my tank top and pulled it up and off. I had given up on wearing a bra a couple days after we arrived on the island. What was the point? Soseki wasn't very good at taking it off anyway. He kissed my breasts gently, while his lips worked on one, his hand would work on the other. I whimpered as the feelings started to build in me and warmth soon took over my body. I was so flushed, I was glad the sun was setting and the coolness of night was starting to fall on the beach.

He stopped thrusting long enough to get my shorts off. He pressed a hand into my underwear and I cried out. This was so unfair. He was totally in control now, he knew exactly how to finish me.

"Soseki..." I cried out.

"Mmm?" He moved his lips to my neck. I couldn't get anymore words out, I was too breathless. My chest was heaving under his weight, I knew I was going to last much longer, and he still had his shorts on!

As if he read my mind, he pulled his shorts down and continued to rock his hips into mine. I moaned and reached out to run my hands over his chest in some kind of attempt to retaliate. It worked to some extent. He slowed his thrusts and dropped some of his weight onto my hips, which really only turned me on further.

He recovered long enough to pull my underwear down and his shortly after and continued his slow thrusts, though they were getting harder, and he wasn't even inside yet! He moved his arm to hold my back steady and I braced myself.

"You ready?" He asked, panting heavily, his eyes hooded.

"Mmm." I replied, reaching around to his back and pulling him back down to me.

He pushed himself in slowly and I cried out at the sudden feeling that was quickly starting to radiate all over my body. He thrust inside slowly and continued at the tantalizing pace. I held on to his back and hooked my leg to his hips again to help him hit the right spot. He pressed more of his weight into my hips and pushed me down to the blanket, quickening his thrusts ever so slightly.

I arched my back as I felt my orgasm start to build. I moaned his name and let out a small gasp with each thrust. He had no idea what he was doing to me. I was already so close.

When he brought his hands to my waist and lifted it, I knew I was done for. With one final cry, I gripped his back and let it go, moaning his name the whole time. He picked up the speed of his thrusts and was soon releasing inside me as well.

He rolled us so I was back on top of him and I caressed his now sweaty chest as I tried to catch my breath. He pressed his lips into my shoulder.

"That was better than anything I've ever heard." He whispered and wrapped his arms tight around me again.

"Mmhmm." I agreed, my eyes still closed. I continued to mindlessly caress his chest. He sighed contentedly.

"Let's go for a swim." He suggested. Before I had a chance to answer, he had picked me up and was heading for the ocean.

I just laughed as he walked into the water, still holding me so safe and comfortably.


	19. Transition

**A/N:** Hey guys, sorry this took so long. I wish I had a good excuse, but I don't. Hopefully more chapters will come soon but I really can't promise anything! Sorry!

We woke up late on the last day of our honeymoon to the sound of airplane engines. Soseki groaned and rolled over in bed onto his stomach, burying his head under a pillow. I reached over to rub his bare back.

"We knew we had to leave." I reminded him softly.

"Just stay still and quiet, maybe he won't see us and then go back home." His muffled voice came from under the pillow. I chuckled.

"You could try, but we can't stay here forever." I sat up and swung my legs out of bed. "Sure, it was nice while it lasted, we'll have to come back one day."

Soseki sighed and got out of bed to get dressed. The sound of the airplane was getting closer and closer. I was just glad that we had enough time to get dressed and decent before Charles got here. It didn't take long to pack. We heard the engine shut off and had enough time to scarf down a banana each before there was a knock on the cabin door.

Soseki answered it to reveal not only Charles, but Hina as well.

"Are you two all set and ready to go?" His booming voice filled the cabin.

"I suppose..." Soseki mused. Charles laughed.

"It's a very nice island, I understand your hesitation to leave. But you two are needed back in Echo Village." He said.

"Alright, then." Soseki picked up both of our suitcases and we all headed back out to the plane.

"I hope you don't mind me bringing Hina along, but she enjoys flying when she can." Charles said.

"Not at all." I smiled down at Hina as Soseki and Charles loaded the bags.

"Are you and Mr Soseki going to have a baby too?" She asked in that small, innocent voice of hers. I froze. My eyes darted towards Soseki, who was also frozen in place, looking from Hina to me and back again.

"H-Hina!" Charles was the first to react. "You don't ask people things like that!"

"Why not? Mr Sanjay and Miss Iroha and going to have a baby! And Momma said that after people get married, they have babies!" She explained matter-of-factly.

"Miss Anya and I aren't going to have a baby yet." Soseki snapped to. "But we will when we're ready to have a baby."

"Why aren't you ready now?" Hina asked him.

"Hina! That's enough!" Charles told his daughter.

"No, it's okay." I assured him. Once I had gotten over the shock of the unexpected question, I returned to my sense. She was just a kid, and she was curious about something her mother had told her. "A baby is a lot of work, and Mr Soseki and I still need to get used to living with each other before we're ready to have a baby."

"Oh." She pondered this. "Daddy, why don't you and Momma have more babies?"

"Because you are the most perfect child we could have hoped for. We don't need more babies." Charles replied smoothly. He must have expected that the conversation would have taken this sort of turn.

He placed her arms around her waist and hoisted her up into the plane, then helped myself and Soseki in. Thankfully, once the engine had started, the chance at having a conversation was pretty much zero. I felt Soseki take my hand and I looked up at him. He was smiling cheekily and I blushed at the reminder of the conversation that had just taken placed. I rested my head on his shoulder and felt him let go of my hand to wrap his arm around my shoulders.

Once we landed and brought our luggage back to the farm, not without several 'welcome backs' from the villagers we encountered on the way home, our next task was to move the bed from Soseki's house to mine so we could at least sleep comfortably on our first night in our home. The cold hit us hard. We had been so used to the nice, warm temperature of Southern Island, that it was weird to all of a sudden be in a totally different climate. I was glad there was only a week left of Winter.

Since it was Neil and Rod's day off, they offered their carts and services to move the bed and most of Soseki's belongings to the farm. They also helped set up the bed and move everything in. I had no idea how my small farmhouse was going to hold not only mine, but Soseki's stuff as well. This had all happened so fast that I didn't have enough time to think about everything that needed to be done. I'd get on that as soon as we were settled. I'd also have to discuss birth control with Soseki at some point, there was no way we'd have room for a baby at this point in our lives.

Soseki did well the first few days on the farm. He found that he really liked the chickens and expressed an interest in the bees for when Spring arrived. So we was in charge of the chickens and moving the rock from the geyser to water the crops and I was in charge of the other livestock and the garden in from of the house. I was impressed at how he had really stepped up. He even started waking up earlier, which was something we both had to adjust to since returning from our honeymoon.

We did end up discussing birth control and talked to Dr Klaus to find out what our best option was. Soseki and I didn't want any physical barriers or drugs involved, so we left with a chart and a thermometer. I still wasn't sure I believed that it worked, but apparently, I could track my body temperature every day and when it went up, it meant I was the most fertile. Dr Klaus had also given us a diaphragm for those days if we really couldn't abstain, something that wasn't a barrier we could feel, but still a barrier, and Soseki and I both agreed it was a good option.

Sanjay and Iroha _were _expecting a baby. Once Soseki and I were settled, she invited me over for tea and told me that they had found out right after Soseki and I had left and they were both really excited about the news. The baby was due in late Summer and she was already starting to show quite a bit.

I had been worried that since Soseki and I really didn't use any form of protection during our honeymoon, so it was a huge relief when my period came and we slowly got the hang of our method of birth control.

The Starry Night Festival was a couple days after we got back to Echo Village. As soon as our chores were done, Soseki and I wasted no time on changing into nicer clothing and heading out to the woods for a longp-awaited walk. We had been so busy with sorting out who does what on the farm and Soseki had convinced me that we could take on more responsibility now that there were two of us instead of just me, it had been a long time since we had gone for a leisurely stroll in the forest.

We bundled up warm and Soseki took my hand as we went back outside. It was late afternoon and there were a few other couples out celebrating the festival. I smiled and drew myself closer to Soseki when I saw Hana and Kosaburo holding hands a bit further up the path from us. They were too cute. I could only hope that that would be me and Soseki one day.

Once we got a bit deeper into the forest, there weren't as many people around. In fact, we were the only people around at all. So you can imagine my delight when he let go of my hand and grabbed my waist.

"Soseki!" I squealed as he pulled me in close. He just smiled.

"I've missed this." He whispered. I grinned back and closed my eyes as he started to lean in.

My heart jumped when his lips latched onto mine. I felt him sigh and I moved my hands to his neck to pull myself closer.

"Stay close, I'll keep you warm." Soseki broke off briefly to tell me.

"Mmm." I smiled and pulled myself back up to him. He wrapped his arms even tighter around me and moved the up to the small of my back.

We broke apart in surprise when we heard whistling and laughter. I looked around for the source and quickly located it. We didn't even think that someone might come up behind us on the path, but Tina and Rod had.

"Get a room, you guys! You're not the only ones that use the forest!" Rod called.

"Sorry." I blushed and averted my gaze, peeling my body away from Soseki's.

"Didn't think you were the type to get it on in the middle of the forest." Rod punched Soseki playfully on the arm.

"We weren't 'getting it on'." Soseki looked confused. I blushed darker and Rod just laughed.

"We'll leave you to it." Rod winked.

"Happy Starry Night!" Tina called as they continued on their way.

"Sorry about that." Soseki rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't think we would get caught."

"That's okay, I wasn't expecting anyone to come either." I replied. He smiled and took my hand again, but this time, practically dragging me off the path and into the forest.

"What are we doing?" I asked.

"Going somewhere people won't discover us." Soseki took my waist again and leaned me back against a tree. I grinned and blushed as he bent down again.

"By the time we emerged from the forest, it was really getting dark out and we had to concentrate hard to stay on the path and make it back to the farm, laughing the whole way. I had no idea how Soseki got away with acting so old for all these years. He got so much joy out of simple things, and had no trouble expressing it.

We ended the evening by cooking and eating dinner together, cuddling on the couch in front of the fire with mugs of tea and then even more married couple fun right before bed.

"I still think I'll wake up one morning on my own again in my house and find out that this was all a dream." He said softly as he held me to his chest before we fell asleep.

"Don't." I moved my hand to caress his cheek. "You deserve this. I still can't believe that _I_ deserve this, but it's real. I promise I'll be right here beside you every morning for the rest of our lives."

"Promise?" He grinned. I smiled and kissed him gently.

"Promise."


	20. Babies

**A/N: **Hey, sorry this one is shorter, more to come soon!

"EEEEEEEE!"

I nearly jumped out of my skin and whipped around to see who, or what, was screaming. Tina was running onto the farm, a huge smile on her face, screaming the whole way. She reached me and wrapped her arms around me...tightly.

"Tina, what's going on?" I asked, trying to wriggle myself free. She let go and wiped at her wet eyes.

"Oh, Anya. I'm just so happy!" She replied.

"Okay, oddly enough, I figured that out for myself." I said. "Why are you so happy?"

"Rod proposed last night!" She squealed and squeezed me hard again. "I'm getting married, Anya!"

"Tina!" I squeezed her back. "That's so great! I'm so happy for you!"

"It's going to be on the second day of Spring! I'm so excited!" She wiped her eyes again. "But I'm scared too, you know?"

"Well, getting married is a big step." I told her as she let go of me. "Rod loves you very much and I'm sure that he'll take care of you, I'm positive that you have nothing to be scared of."

I was thinking back to last season and the time leading up to my own wedding. I had been scared of the physical part of my relationship with Soseki that would change, but Tina and Rod had already moved on to that stage of their relationship. However, Tina and I were very different. I couldn't compare her marriage to mine by any means.

Soseki insisted on going on vacation to the Ancient Ruins for the new year. He said it was to gather mountain honey bees for the beehives that he would be taking over, but admitted when we got there that it was really because he missed our Southern Island getaway and wanted to get away from the rest of the village with me for the weekend.

It was a nice vacation, don't get me wrong. I found that I also loved travelling with him and getting away from the farm for a bit. And with the two of us working the farm, we would have a lot more income, and hopefully, more opportunities to travel.

The day we got back was the day of Tina and Rod's wedding. They were too cute together. Tina was teary eyed from the moment she saw Rod, and Rod's eyes even got shiny after Tina said 'I do.'

The next day, Soseki and I got started on the summer crops and beehives. I was shocked when Soseki emerged from the house in a white shirt, jacket, black pants and a green scarf. I did a double take and he chuckled at the look on my face.

"What are you wearing?" I put the bag of seeds I was holding on the ground.

"It's a traditional farmer's outfit." He explained, a hint of pink tingeing his cheeks.

"I thought you told me not to get used to you wearing western styled clothing... several times." I grinned as I looked him up and down, admiring his new outfit. It definitely showed off his body a lot better than his usual kimono did, something that I didn't mind at all.

"This is a lot more practical for farming." He went on, rubbing the back of his neck. He was too cute.

"You don't have to change your style for me." I assured him. "I love you no matter what you wear, you know that."

"It's not just that." He said. "My kimono really isn't practical for farming. It's harder to move and it just gets in the way when I'm working."

"If you're sure..."I replied.

"I'm sure." He assured me and kissed my nose before heading to the western fields to start clearing the trees away to make room for all of the beehives he made over the winter.

Two weeks later, Rod and Tina returned from their honeymoon and found out they were expecting a baby that same day. Between her and Iroha, there were a lot of hormones and mood swings whenever we spent time together, so I tended to avoid them. I felt bad about it, but they were making me crazy!

"Are you feeling okay?" Soseki asked one evening after I had returned from having tea with the two of them.

"Just a little headachy." I answered.

"No, I mean..." He hesitated. I pulled my shoes off and joined him on the couch, intrigued, as always, to what was going on in his mind. "Isn't this making you wish that we were having a baby?"

I raised my eyebrows. I wanted to laugh, but I couldn't tell from his tone is he was worried that I would want to have a baby, or excited about it. I would have to tread carefully.

"Soseki," I started slowly. "I'm happy just being here with you. Of course I want a baby, but just don't think we're ready yet. I don't want to have a baby just because every other married couple here is."

He wrapped his arms around me and held me close.

"I'm glad to hear that." He whispered. "I want a baby too, but I don't think we're ready yet either."

"One day..." I mused.

"Yes, one day." He agreed.

I had to admit that I really enjoyed seeing all of Soseki's new work clothes. He would change back into his kimono is we went out or if we finished work early, but I liked the change. He was just full of surprises.

With the both of us working the land, and especially with the increase in crop and honey production, our income was steadily growing. By the beginning of summer, we had our house upgraded and were living more comfortably with more space and some nicer new furniture.

We tried to go out for dinner at least once a week and to take walks through the forest whenever we had time. Soseki celebrated his thirty-first birthday on the 24th day of spring, so we stayed in and I made dinner to celebrate. Soseki admitted that he didn't really feel like the other villagers liked him very much, and no matter how much I tried convincing him otherwise, he wouldn't go for it. So whenever there was a choice to go out or stay in, we almost always stayed in.

With summer came heat. I had a hard enough time working the farm in this weather, I couldn't imagine how Iroha was dealing with working as a blacksmith in this weather on top of being due to give birth in just a couple weeks. Though, on second thought, knowing Sanjay, he was probably making sure she took it easy and didn't work too hard, or at all, until after the baby was born.

It must have been the heat, either that or Soseki was seasoning our food a bit more heavily, but I found myself reaching for the Tums more often than usual. However, every time, there seemed to be less and less of the tablets inside the container. I couldn't be consuming that many antacids, could I? Maybe it was the heat. I would pick more up the next time I was in town.

Still, I couldn't brush off the feeling that something wasn't quite right.


	21. News

It was the middle of the summer when I caught him reaching for the Tums.

"You feeling okay?" I asked. He jumped a little. He didn't know I was watching him. True, my back had been turned a moment before, but he wasn't as sneaky as I think he thought he was.

"Just a bit of indigestion, nothing to worry about." He assured me, popping the tablets into his mouth.

"Soseki..." I moved the pot from the stove and crossed the room to him, placing my hand on his upper arm. "Dr Klaus said that there's a chance he didn't get all of the cancer cells." My voice was shaking. This was my worst fear, but if there was a possibility that it was back, I wanted it to be caught as soon as possible. "If there's even a chance that's the case, I think we should take it seriously."

Soseki was quiet. My eyes were getting wet and it didn't take long for the tears to start overflowing.

"Oh, Anya." He bent down and scooped me up in his arms. He held me for a few moments and let me get it out on his shirt. He didn't say anything else, he just rubbed my back and tried to calm me down.

"I just don't know what I'd do if you were gone." I whispered once I had pulled myself together a bit.

"Anya," He pulled back slightly to look me in the eyes. "I feel so foolish, it's still such a strange concept to me that someone cares about me as much as you do, and that my choices affect not only my life, but yours as well. I'm sorry."

"I just don't want anything bad to happen to you." I whispered and buried my head in his chest again.

"It's okay." He soothed me, rubbing my back again. "I'll make you a deal."

I pulled away to look him in the face. He was still totally serious. He brought a hand to my cheek and rubbed away the tears.

"What's that?" I asked.

"You've been into the Tums as well, don't think I haven't noticed." He smiled slightly. I bowed my head slightly. Now he was worried about me, too. "I'll go to Dr Klaus and let him run tests on me if you come with me and get some tests done on you as well."

"I'm sorry I made you worry." I said.

"Don't apologize. I should be the one apologizing." He replied. "Do we have a deal?"

"Yes." I smiled. He grinned back and held me close to him again.

"Great, we'll go in the morning." He said.

It was nice to know that Soseki had been worried about me. Well, not nice that I had made him worry, but it was a new feeling for me as well, that someone cared about me enough to pick up on when I wasn't doing so well or if I was doing something I didn't normally do. Even though I'm pretty positive that nothing was wrong with me and Soseki was worried for nothing, it was still a nice feeling.

I was glad the air was clear and the mystery of the missing Tums had been solved, so we ate dinner in a slightly more cheerful atmosphere than it had been a few minutes before.

As soon as the most important chores had been done the next morning, Soseki and I cleaned up quickly and then headed into town to see Dr Klaus.

"Good morning Soseki, Anya." Dr Klaus greeted us as we walked through the door. "I trust this will be a happy visit?"

"I hope so." Soseki answered. "We've both been having a bit of indigestion and we were wondering if you could put both of our minds at ease and run a couple of tests."

"What other symptoms have you been experiencing?" Dr Klaus reached for his clipboard and started taking notes.

"Just a bit of indigestion. My stomach's been a bit sore, but I've just been attributing that to the surgery." Soseki answered. Dr Klaus turned to me.

"Any other symptoms?" He asked. I tried to think, but I wasn't really coming up with anything. "Nausea? Vomiting? Cramps? Abdominal discomfort?"

"Not really." I shrugged. A bit of stomach pain, but nothing that I've been worried about.

"Alright, I'm going to do some blood testing on both of you and hopefully that will tell me a bit more about what's going on." Dr Klaus put his clipboard down and bustled to his supply cupboard to pull out a couple of syringes.

Soseki went first since I wasn't a fan of needles. But it was nice when Soseki let me take his hand and distracted me from what Dr Klaus was doing when it was my turn. When Dr Klaus was done, he sealed and labelled the tubes and gave us each a bandaid.

"If you come back at around five o'clock tonight, I should have the results." He told us.

"Alright, thank you very much, doctor." Soseki shook Dr Klaus's hand, offered me his arm and together, we headed back to the farm.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" He smiled as we walked.

"No, it wasn't." I admitted. "But I won't be doing it again anytime soon."

He laughed and pulled me close again.

By the time the rest of our chores were finished, it was pretty close to five. I had hoped that it would go by slower, whatever Dr Klaus had to say, I was pretty sure I wasn't ready for it. But Soseki took my hand firmly, gave it a squeeze and we trekked back to the clinic.

Dr Klaus's face showed no expression as we took a seat across from his desk. It was freaking me out. But Dr Klaus usually had a flawless poker face... still, I knew I would worry until he explained the test results. I had a death grip on Soseki's hand. He rubbed his thumb over my hand in an effort to soothe me, but it wasn't really working.

"I have the results from your tests." Dr Klaus started. "I have good news, and I have bad news."

My heart sank. I hated the not knowing, but I had a feeling that my worst nightmares were about to come true.

"Let's get the bad news over with first." Soseki tried making eye contact with me, but I was staring straight ahead, waiting for Dr Klaus to go on.

"The bad news is that Soseki's tests were highly indicative that the cancer has returned."

My heart stopped and I felt a lump form in my throat. No! It couldn't be. He had the surgery, we were married and everything was rainbows and unicorns. We were supposed to live happily ever after! Was this the end? Was my life going to end before it had even really started?

"I will need to perform a few more tests to confirm, but in the meantime, we'll have to treat it as if it really is cancer. This is highly treatable. There is a very good chance that if we treat this now with a combination of chemotherapy, radiation therapy and surgery, that Soseki will be cured and will live a long and full life."

I exhaled in relief. I hadn't even realized that I had been holding my breath until that moment. It was treatable. There was a very good chance that Soseki would make a full recovery! But what were the chances that he wouldn't? With anything, there's always a risk. Now I was upset all over again.

"Can you do chemo and radiation here at the clinic?" Soseki was remarkably calm considering the situation. And here I was, a total wreck, and I wasn't even the one with cancer!

"Unfortunately, I don't." Dr Klaus answered. "I would have to refer you to a doctor in an actual hospital in the city. I can do that as soon as I've completed the tests that will confirm that the cancer has returned."

"What kind of risks are involved with the chemotherapy and radiation?" Soseki asked.

"Who cares what the risks are?" I exclaimed suddenly. I couldn't stand that Soseki was being so calm. It was as if they were discussing an herb garden or the upcoming fireworks festival! Why was I the only one who was upset about this? "We already know that we're going to do whatever it takes to put all of this behind us!"

"Well, there you have it!" Soseki chuckled. "Anya, I know this is hard for you, but I'd like to prepare myself a bit for what's going to happen. I already know that this is what we have to do, I'd just like to get a few questions answered."

"Okay, that's fair." I answered, my voice shaking slightly. Soseki took my hand with both of his and rubbed both of his thumbs on it. It was actually soothing this time. Maybe it was because now we knew what we were up against.

"Risks associated with chemotherapy and radiation therapy are mostly short-term, such as abdominal discomfort, hair loss, mouth sores, nausea and vomiting." He explained, "However, there are some long-term risks, such as kidney failure and infertility. Which brings me to the good news."

"I thought the good news was that the cancer was treatable." Soseki raised his eyebrows.

"Well then, I suppose there's more good news." Dr Klaus smiled slowly. Soseki looked at me with his eyebrows still raised. I couldn't tell you why. I had no idea what this good news was. "You two are expecting a baby."

There was a moment of stunned silence and then before I could really process what Dr Klaus had just said, Soseki's arms were around me and I was sobbing into his chest.

"Anya, we're having a baby!" He whispered softly in my ear.

"B-but," I stuttered, "Y-y-you have c-cancer!"

"Shh... it's going to be okay." He rubbed my back and assured me. "You heard Klaus, we have a really great chance of getting rid of it for good. Besides, if it isn't enough that I have you to fight for, I'll have a baby to take care of, too."

"Oh, Soseki..." I pulled away from him and leaned up to kiss him. He responded instantly and bent down to reach me better, bringing his hands to the back of my neck and to my cheeks.

"We're going to have a baby, my love." He breathed. I grinned. There was no denying it, even though Soseki's cancer had come back, knowing that we had a baby to look forward to was the happiest news I had ever heard.

Dr Klaus cleared his throat and I almost jumped. I had forgotten he was there for a moment. I hastily detached myself from my husband and refocused on the doctor.

"I'll have to ask a couple questions and do a thorough exam on you as well to make sure you have a healthy pregnancy. Now, when was the first day of your last menstrual period?" He asked, turning to his clipboard again. I had to think hard. I knew we charted it and everything, but I had a hard time remembering it.

"Spring 11, I think." I replied.

"So that makes your baby due in early to mid winter." Dr Klaus said.

"Excuse me, Klaus," Soseki cut in, "but I'm still a bit curious as to how this happened, I mean, we were using birth control."

"Well, there could be a number of reasons to why Anya has conceived." Dr Klaus replied. "You could have not been using the chart method accurately, with the summer season, it could have been easy to misinterpret when Anya was ovulating. The diaphragm could have been placed wrong, or not used on the right day. Or the Harvest Goddess herself could have decided that now was the right time for the two of you to conceive."

"I like the sound of the last one." Soseki grinned and gave my hand a squeeze.

At that exact moment, the door to the clinic burst open and Sanjay barrelled in with Iroha in his arms.

"She's having the baby!" He exclaimed as he ran towards the doctor.

"How far apart are the contractions?" Dr Klaus asked.

"She just had her first one." Sanjay replied.

"Really?" Dr Klaus looked annoyed. "Well then, it will still be a while until she delivers. You can put her down in one of the beds on the other side of the curtain."

Sanjay hurried behind the curtain and I could hear that Iroha also sounded a bit annoyed with him.

"Seriously, Sanjay. I'm fine." She was assuring him. "It was just one contraction, we could have waited a bit until we came here."

"But I don't want to risk anything bad happening to you." Sanjay replied. "We're fortunate enough to live in a village where the doctor is never very busy. I just want you to have the best care possible."

"Oh, Sanjay." I could hear the smile in her voice.

"We will have to reschedule." Dr Klaus said to Soseki and I. "How about tomorrow evening? Depending on when this baby is born, I'll give you a call to confirm. I'd like to get Soseki's treatment started as soon as possible."

"Okay." Soseki said and we both nodded.

"Thank you. Excuse me." Dr Klaus got up and headed over to the soon-to-be parents. "Now, how are you doing over here, Iroha?"

Soseki and I got up and left. As soon as we were out of the clinic, Soseki grabbed my waist, picked me up and spun me around. I shrieked and held tight to his shoulders. He was laughing, he was so happy. I was happy too, and I trusted him not to drop me.

"Whoa, whoa, what's your deal, old man?" It was Allen, surprise, surprise.

"I don't really think it's any of your concern." Soseki replied as he placed me gently back on the ground. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take my wife back home."

I giggled and took the arm Soseki offered me, clinging tight to him the whole walk home.


	22. Planning

Iroha and Sanjay's baby boy, Rajan, was born early the following afternoon. Dr Klaus had called to set up an appointment for Soseki and I for the evening, once he had a chance to get a nap. We showed up early so we could visit with the new parents.

"Isn't he the most beautiful baby you ever saw?" Iroha mused as she cradled the tiny infant in her arms. She looked up at us expectantly.

"Of course he is!" I assured her. "He's so sweet."

"Would you like to hold him?" She offered. I hesitated for a second.

"Uh... okay." I replied. I guess I would have to get the hang of holding a baby sooner or later. She held her precious bundle out to me and I carefully took him in my arms.

He _was_ really cute. His skin had a tanned appearance to it, not quite as dark as Sanjay's, but not nearly as pale as Iroha. He also inherited his father's white hair, but had Iroha's small mouth and nose. He was sleeping, so I couldn't tell who's eyes he had. I just hoped he wouldn't wake up and start crying. I didn't know if I could handle that.

But he was so small and light in my arms. A tiny human being. And Iroha had created him in just three short seasons. And to think I was only two seasons away from holding my own baby in my arms, it was too amazing to comprehend.

I looked up at Soseki. While I had been mesmerized by this small child, he had snuck closer to me to investigate the baby himself. When I looked up, our eyes met and I realized his were slightly moist. It was clear what he was feeling. In no time at all, we would have our own little person to love. It almost seemed real.

"Do you want to hold him?" I offered the baby to Soseki, my voice cracking slightly. I hadn't realized how emotional I was feeling. He wordlessly held out his arms and I settled Rajan comfortably in his arms.

"Congratulations, guys." I said, trying to inconspicuously wipe at my eyes."I'm so happy for you!"

"Anya, are you alright?" Iroha reached up to touch my arm, her eyes full of concern.

"Oh, it's nothing really." I shrugged. "Well, nothing much..."

"We just found out we're expecting a baby too." Soseki supplied, grinning from ear to ear. He handed Amir his son so he could wrap an arm around me. I beamed up into his eyes. I still seemed so surreal hearing the words. We were expecting a baby.

Iroha and Sanjay's jaws dropped.

"But.. I didn't know you two were trying to have a baby." Iroha said.

"We weren't, but it happened anyway, and we couldn't be happier." I grinned. Soseki bent down to kiss the top of my head.

It was at that moment that Dr Klaus appeared.

"Soseki, Anya." He greeted us. "If you'd like to wait for me in my office, I'm just going to do a quick check-up on Iroha and Rajan and then I'll be right with you."

Soseki gave my shoulder a squeeze and wordlessly led me to Dr Klaus's office, where we could discuss in private what our options were for the cancer treatment.

Countless questions, several blood tests, two ultrasounds and a pelvic exam (mine, not Soseki's) later, we were free to go. According to Dr Klaus, it would be a couple days before he could confirm the return of Soseki's cancer and after that, he could refer us to a bigger hospital. I still had a shred of hope that Dr Klaus was wrong and Soseki's cancer hadn't returned, but I knew deep down that this was very unlikely. Still, I could help but hope.

We also found out that the pregnancy was progressing very well. The baby was developing properly and was the right size for its age. Dr Klaus even offered to tell us the sex, but we decided against it. It didn't matter to us whether it was a boy or a girl, just so long as it was healthy.

Seeing the baby on the ultrasound was such a confirmation of what was going on inside of me. A tiny person was growing inside me, part me, part Soseki. Our love in a physical form. I felt the tears gathering in the corners of my eyes and I felt Soseki give my hand a squeeze. His eyes were wet too.

"I'll give you two a call once I get the referral in. You should decide whether you want to commute to the city for treatment or if you want to rent out a small place in the city until the treatment is complete."

"Which would you recommend?" Soseki asked.

"Personally, I would recommend staying in the city. True, it will probably mean your baby will be born there, but it will be easier to get to the hospital for appointments and your wouldn't have to worry about farm chores on top of everything else. In fact, it would probably be for the best if Anya took it easy for the remainder of the pregnancy."

Soseki turned to me. "I'm all for anything that is good for you and would make our lives easier, what do you think?"

"I'm okay with that... we'd either have to pay someone to look after the farm, or rent it out." I replied.

"We have a few days to figure it out." Soseki reminded me.

"I believe that's everything I have to discuss with you two." Dr Klaus stood up. "Just don't forget to take your folic acid." He told me. I nodded, clutching the bottle of prenatal vitamins in my hand.

At that, Soseki and I got up and left the office for home to make dinner.

As I was getting ready for bed, I happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror with my top off. I did a double take. My belly was definitely not that big this morning. I slowly brought my hands to my stomach as if in a trance. There was a baby in there. A couple days ago, we had no idea of its existence at all, and now here I was, already starting to show. I pulled a shirt on quickly and crawled next to Soseki in bed. As if instinctively, he wrapped his arms around me tightly and kissed my forehead.

I smiled softly and gently pried one of his hands from y waist and placed it on my belly. He looked confused for a half second, but the his eyes widened and he lifted the covers to get a better look.

"That wasn't there last night!" He exclaimed. His warm hands felt nice on my skin. I brought a hand up to his cheek. "Oh, Anya."

He pulled me close and rubbed his cheek against mine. I knew I would have beard burn in the morning, especially if we started kissing, but I didn't mind. How Soseki showed his affection was way more important to me than what anyone else thought of it.

"Can you feel it?" He whispered.

"Not yet." I breathed back. "Hopefully it won't be long."

Soseki pulled back to kiss me gently.

"I still can't believe it. We're going to be a family." He rested his forehead against mine, still caressing my now protruding belly softly.

"I'm so happy right now." I told him. He grinned and kissed me again.

In that moment, cancer was the last thing on our minds. Not even Soseki's illness could interfere with how happy we were feeling. We were starting a family. An actual person was growing inside me. Half Soseki, half me. What could be more beautiful?


	23. Hospital Life

I was rushing through the hospital, trying very hard not to spill either of the two cups of tea in my hands. Well, more like waddling. It was getting harder to rush as my belly grew. Why did they always move my husband with every radiation treatment he went through? It would make my life so much easier if he stayed put and I wouldn't have to go through the same process every week. Why did this hospital have to be so big?

I found the Oncology unit, by now, that was no trouble. I had over a season of practice between consultations, appointments with doctors to get the right chemotherapy dosages, PICC line insertions and now, radiation. Soseki had been going through radiation for five weeks now. His surgery was scheduled for three weeks from now. After that, there would be six more weeks of chemo and radiation and then we would be able to go home.

But we wouldn't be going alone, I was reminded as I felt a persistent kicking against my abdomen. The baby was due in three weeks and Soseki and I were praying that it would come before the surgery. I really didn't want Soseki worrying about me going into labour while he was in the operating room.

He was just getting wheeled in to his room when I rounded the corner. Perfect timing. Once the nurses had him settled, I was at his side, brushing the hair out of his eyes. He was so pale, his eyelids so heavy. It had been a surprise to me that he got to keep his hair, but the nurses had explained to me that only the area treated by radiation would experience hair loss. It was a nice surprise. Soseki's hair suited him so well.

"Anya." He groaned as he noticed me. He reached for my hand.

"How are you feeling?" I asked softly, rubbing my thumb over his hand.

"Exhausted." He managed a small smile. Then he gagged. Instinctively, I reached for the plastic basin kept at the side of his bed and placed it by his mouth just in time. His lunch made an encore appearance. I kept brushing his hair out of the way, not unlike the way he had done for me while I was experiencing morning sickness. He slumped back into the bed once it was over. I got up to find a cloth, wet it and cleaned his face up a bit. It would be uncomfortable for him to try and rest with the taste of vomit in his mouth. It was uncomfortable enough with the canker sores, another side effect of the treatment, it pained me to see my husband suffering like this, but I knew it was a means to an end. This would all be behind us in just a couple more seasons.

I thought he had fallen asleep until he reached his other hand out, trying to open his eyes. He was tired. Radiation treatment always made him feel like crap.

"I want to feel Mittens." He mumbled. I smiled. Mittens was what we decided to call the baby until it was born. Don't ask me why or how that came about, but it stuck. We just felt bad constantly referring to it as 'it' or 'the baby' so Mittens it was. If you asked me, it sounded more like a cat name than a name for a baby.

I guided his hand to my stomach where Mittens was extremely active. His lips curled into a grin, and then he was out like a light. I held his hand to my lips for a moment before I tucked it under the covers with him.

I did not like living in a hospital, which was pretty much what we were doing. Sure, we had rented a small apartment, but we were really only there on weekends and to catch a few hours of sleep every night. I couldn't wait to get back to the farm. I missed being outside, and I missed my animals. I knew I could trust Hart with the farm, he seemed to know what he was doing and the livestock took an immediate liking to him. We had agreed that he would pay rent every season, but he would keep the profits from the farm.

I leaned back in the chair. It would be at least an hour until Soseki woke up. I took a sip of my tea and reached for my knitting back. That's right. My knitting bag. I had taken up knitting. Mostly blankets and hats for Mittens, I was trying to knit an actual pair of tiny mittens for the baby, considering it was going to be born in the winter, but the task was difficult because they had to be so small and I was not good with precision tasks. The baby kicking at seemingly random intervals was also not helping.

An hour and a half later, I had one mitten-like contraption completed. Oh well, at least I had gotten the hang of it near the end. Hopefully the next one would be better.

Soseki stirred. By now, his tea was cold, but that was the way he liked it. Tea with sugar and a bit of cream, cold.

"Hey." I whispered softly, coming closer to his side. he opened his eyes groggily.

"What are you doing down there?" He asked. I chucked.

"Knitting." I answered.

"Come up here with me." He scooted over a bit to make room. "They may be able to take away my energy and the daylight, but they won't take our time together away too."

I smiled and climbed up into the bed. We had done this a lot earlier on, before my belly was the size it was now. Now, it was pretty awkward squeezing into the small hospital bed with two and a half people. As soon as I was in, I settled with my back to my husband and he quickly wrapped his arms around my bulging stomach. I lifted the bedrail to prevent me rolling right out.

"They're all so worried you're going to pop any moment now." Soseki whispered. I could hear the grin in his voice.

"There's still three weeks." I reminded him.

"Nineteen days." He replied. I grinned. "Something about stress labour...?"

"Oh, I don't know." I mumbled. "Mittens will come when Mittens is ready to come. I cross my legs if I have to."

Soseki chuckled. "Don't make yourself uncomfortable for my sake. Just promise you'll bring the baby to me as soon as you can."

We found out pretty soon after Soseki's surgery date was set that there was no way he would be able to be present for the birth of our first child. With him being practically an inpatient on the Oncology unit and the Maternity ward being on the complete opposite end of the hospital, it just wasn't possible. We had both been disappointed. Soseki because he wanted to be there for one of most important moments of his life, and me because I knew I would need Soseki by my side for the whole process.

"You know I will. Don't you worry about that." I held his hand and snuggled in closer to him. We were quiet for a few minutes and I thought he had gone back to sleep when he spoke again.

"Are _you_ feeling okay?"

I paused. I didn't want to worry him. But I _was_ pretty scared. Not just because I would have to have this baby alone, but because of Soseki's treatment. He was losing so much energy! He was exhausted all the time and we hadn't really had too many opportunities to work on our marriage and prepare ourselves for the baby since we came to the city.

"I'm... okay." I said. I knew he wouldn't believe me for a second, so I went on. "I mean, considering you're here, going through this treatment and being uncomfortable all the time..."

"I'm not uncomfortable now." He interrupted. I turned to face him. A ghost of a smile was on his lips.

"Well, that's good." I smiled. "I just mean that the timing on everything seems to be so terrible. Why does your OR date have to be so close to the time the baby will be born? I just feel a bit stressed."

"Good!" He exclaimed. I raised an eyebrow. "Then you'll go into labour like those nurses were saying and we won't have to worry anymore."

I laughed. "Maybe."

"Hey, I know the timing seems to be terrible, but just think about what every doctor has been saying to us since we found out the cancer came back. There's a huge risk that I'll be sterile when this is all over with, especially since the radiation is so close to... uh... my reproductive organs. So this was really the perfect time to get pregnant because we don't know if it will be possible for it to happen again after this is all done."

I snuggled into his chest as close as Mittens would let me. "You're right."

I knew he was right. I knew this would be all worth it when it was over. But at the moment, it seemed impossible.


	24. Weekend

Soseki was exhausted by the end of the week. I fully expected him to collapse as soon as we walked through the door of our apartment, but he didn't. He rested for a bit on the couch while I prepared dinner, but he didn't sleep.

He surprised me again by having a cup of coffee while I cleaned up after we had eaten. Was he planning on staying up?

"Would you like to have a bath with me?" He asked once I pulled my rubber gloves off. I stopped in my tracks.

"Are you up for that?" I asked. "I don't mind if you want to go to bed, it's been a rough week for you."

"I'm up for it." He answered. He _was_ looking a bit more awake now that he had some food and caffeine in his system. Some colour had returned to his cheeks. "I just want to spend some time with you before it's not just the two of us anymore."

My heart melted a bit. I had missed spending time with him (while he was conscious) too. I had been worried that we would be so caught up in his treatment and he would need so much time to recover that before we knew it, the baby would be here. It still felt like we had just gotten married, well, probably because we _had_ just gotten married. We hadn't had much time at all to prepare ourselves for the arrival of the baby. What if neither of us were ready before the baby was born?

He got up and wrapped me in his arms.

"I know I haven't been the best husband lately, but I want to fix that, I want to spend the rest of my life trying to be the man you deserve, and the best father I can be for our child." He whispered into my hair as he held me close.

"Oh, Soseki." I sighed. "It's not your fault. This is just a means to an end. I don't blame you at all, I understand that the treatment is hard and takes a lot of your energy, I don't expect you to focus on being a husband right now, I just want you to focus on getting better."

"But I _am_ your husband." He reminded me. "And soon, I'll be a father too." He lowered a hand to caress my swollen belly. "I just want to cherish the time we have left on our own."

"Me too." I breathed back. I stood on my tiptoes to plant a light kiss on his lips. He was quick and held me in place long enough for him to deepen the kiss and slip his tongue into my mouth. I smiled through the kiss. It had been too long since we had done this.

"I'll go run the bath." He broke off.

"Okay." I was a bit breathless. He just grinned and walked away. He shut the bathroom door behind him. Why? I had no idea. I had seen him naked on several occasions. But I let him do whatever it was he was doing and headed to the bedroom to undress and put a bathrobe on.

I knocked on the bathroom door tentatively when I was ready.

"Come in." Soseki called.

I walked in and almost took a step backwards. The bath was full and steaming with honeydew-scented bubbles and the rest of the washroom was illuminated by candles. Soseki must have really felt bad about not having time to spend with me.

"You didn't have to—"

"But I wanted to." He interrupted. He placed his hands on my shoulders and stared into my eyes. After a moment, he lifted an eyebrow, asking for permission to take the robe off. I nodded and the robe was slipped from my shoulders and onto the floor.

I had been worried that Soseki wouldn't find me attractive anymore as my belly grew. If I was honest, it was because of that that I wasn't too crazy about exposing myself to him as the pregnancy progressed and he started radiation. But if there was one thing the look he was giving me now told me, it was that he definitely still appreciated my body. Maybe in a different way than he had before there was a gigantic baby inside me, but he definitely wasn't repulsed by it. I guess, now that I thought about it, he was the one who put the baby there in the first place, he shouldn't be repulsed by it.

I blushed when he made no move to stop staring at my body.

"Soseki..." I mumbled, averting my gaze.

"Anya, you're beautiful." He breathed. My heart melted a little bit more at those words, the same ones he had spoken on our wedding night.

He led me to the tub and helped me in. It was somewhat awkward with my growing belly in the way and I knew there was no way I would be able to get up on my own, but I also knew he would be there to help me. He quickly shed his own clothes and climbed in, settling behind me and wrapping his arms around my stomach. I relaxed into his body. This was so peaceful, I felt so at ease in the warm water, with my husband's strong arms holding me close. I closed my eyes and enjoyed this moment while it lasted.

We were quiet for a while, just enjoying the intimacy of the situation. The most intimate we had been in weeks, there was no way we were taking this for granted.

We talked about simple things, about stories from our past that we hadn't told each other before. We named the baby. Elanora if it was a girl and Thorne if it was a boy. We stayed in each other arms long after the water had cooled. Soseki washed my tired body and I washed his, careful of the red mark where the radiation was being aimed. He was so sore, but no one would have been able to tell tonight. Needless to say, once we had dried off and gotten into bed, we slept soundly.

The next morning, I was up early, and Soseki was still dead to the world. I got up slowly, careful not to wake him, though I knew it was probably take an explosion to wake him up now. I dressed and made myself a simple breakfast. By the time Soseki got up it would be closer to lunch time.

I decided to bake some cookies, something I hadn't done in a while and I knew that Soseki would appreciate it. I was just spooning balls of dough onto the tray when I felt a very familiar pair of hands around my belly and stubbly cheek against mine.

"Mmm... I am the luckiest man alive." He said.

"Are you?" I giggled.

"I get to sleep in and wake up to my beautiful, pregnant wife, covered in flour and baking cookies. What more could a man ask for?"

I giggle again and turned to face him. He looked so sexy with his hair all tousled from sleep and his face covered in stubble. He quickly bent down to kiss me good morning, though it lasted much longer than our usual good morning kisses.

"I love you." He breathed. I grinned.

"I love you, too." I replied, reaching up to kiss him again.

"Ah, I don't want to scratch your face up anymore than I already have. Let me shave." He exited quickly, leaving me to finish up with the baking.

This was going to be a good weekend.


	25. Mittens

Of course, it couldn't last. We had to go back to the hospital for another week of radiation on Monday. But the weekend had been a nice break from everything that had been going on for over a season. It was a good time for Soseki and I to work on our relationship as a married couple before we weren't just a married couple anymore. I wondered if we would have an opportunity to do it again before the baby was born, but I knew deep down that it was very unlikely. The nurses constantly reminding me to expect the baby anywhere between two weeks before the due date to two weeks after the due date. Especially this week, which was now two weeks before I was due.

However stressed I was, the baby remained where it was that week. And the week after that, too. By then, Soseki was frantic. His surgery was scheduled for the following Wednesday and the baby still hadn't come. I was freaking out too, but I knew better than to let Soseki know. He had enough on his plate to worry about without adding me to the equation. He didn't need to be reminded that I was now past my due date and he was heading to the OR very soon. The doctors had offered to induce, given our situation, but neither Soseki or I liked that idea. The baby would come when it was ready.

"I'll be okay." I assured him. "You just focus on coming off that operating table alive and cancer-free. I'll worry about Mittens."

"I won't be upset if you have the baby while I'm still unconscious." He told me. "You don't have to cross your legs for me."

I laughed as the nurses helped him onto the stretcher that would take him to the operating room. It hit me then. He was going. There was nothing he or I could do to control the outcome of whatever was about to happen. I grabbed his hand and gave it a kiss. The nurses discretely left the room to give us a moment alone.

"I love you." I whispered, tears that I hadn't noticed were gathering were threatening to spill.

"Hey, don't worry." He brought a hand to my cheek. "The doctors here are excellent. I hate to say it, but they're probably better than Dr Klaus, and they're much better staffed here. If I was okay with Dr Klaus, I'll be okay with the team here. I'll see you in a couple hours. Promise."

"Okay." I breathed, trying to smile, but I was way too emotional to smile. The extra pregnancy hormones didn't do much to help either.

"I love you." He said quietly before the nurses returned to wheel him away and out of sight.

The baby didn't come while Soseki was in the operating room, either. Which threw me off a bit. I'm pretty sure everyone expected the baby to come at the worst possible time, which would be when Soseki was completely unavailable. But it didn't. I had sort of hoped it would, just to give me something else to think about instead of worrying about my husband.

A few hours after Soseki left, a nurse came in to tell me that the surgery was over and he was in the recovery room. She offered to get me a wheelchair to take me to him, but I stubbornly refused. Even though I felt like a planet, I would waddle my way to my husband on my own. Thankfully, the recovery room wasn't very far away.

He was still unconscious when I found him. I breathed a sigh of relief when I discovered him to be stable, his vital signs were in the normal range (something I had learned from the amount of time spent in the hospital) and his breathing was deep and regular. He was even snoring a bit!

Now that I was able to relax, I found my knitting and continued working on the tiny pair of socks I started earlier in the week. The surgeon stopped by an hour later to check on his patient and to let me know that the operation had gone smoothly.

It was another half hour before Soseki stirred.

"Anya." He whispered hoarsely.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" I dropped the knitting and scooted my chair closer to his side.

"Tired." He smiled softly. "You still pregnant?"

I chuckled. "Yes, I most certainly am."

"Good." He closed his eyes. "Wake me up if that changes."

He was snoring again in seconds. I smiled to myself as I bent over to pick my knitting back up, which was not an easy task. My belly cramped up as I came back up with the yarn and needles. I paused for a minute, my hand on my belly, waiting for the cramps to subside.

But they didn't.

If anything, they got worse as the minutes passed by. I was almost doubled over in pain, waiting for any form of relief to come. Eventually it did and I sat still for a moment, trying to catch my breath before I sat up straight again. Alright, I wouldn't be doing _that_ again until after the baby was born.

I froze. After the baby was born? Did I just have a contraction? The nurses had told me that it would feel like cramps at first... was that it? Holy crap. Wait, maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was just strain from bending over. Still... a voice in my head kept nagging that I was already past my due date. This was probably it.

I tried distracting myself with my knitting, but I could feel myself tightening up and pressure in my pelvis, like the baby was getting into position. I tried standing and walking around the unit, but it exhausted me more than relieved any of the pain. I sat back down when I started cramping up again.

I wanted to wake Soseki up and tell him what was going on, maybe he would have some insight. But I knew he would probably end up worrying and freaking out. He should be recovering. There wasn't much he could do at this point anyway.

By the fifth time I started cramping up, the porter came back to take Soseki back to his room in the Oncology unit. I hobbled back alongside him, holding my back with on hand and clutching my belly with the other. Several time, the porter asked if I would prefer a wheelchair and every time, I politely refused. Still, I was grateful when we got back to Soseki's room. It was dark outside now and I never thought I would be happier to see the padded chair next to his bed. I sat down and tried to close my eyes to get some sleep. I didn't work. Between the cramps coming and going more frequently and more intensely, and the nurses coming in every hour to check Soseki's vitals, plus the anticipation of what I knew was going to be the birth of our baby, I couldn't sleep.

At around one-thirty in the morning, I had to cry out with the intensity of what I now had no doubt was a contraction. I had been timing them, they were now almost seven minutes apart. I had been told that when they were eight ten minutes apart, you should leave for the hospital. But I was already at the hospital, so I figured I had a bit more time. And I didn't want to leave Soseki, just in case he woke up on his own and I could tell him what was happening, but I had no such luck. I couldn't disturb his sleep, I just couldn't. He had been through enough already today. Hopefully, by the time he woke up, it would be all over.

I groaned as I stood up, holding my belly with both hands. I reached for the wall and slowly made my way out into the hall towards the nursing station.

"Miss! Are you okay?" A young blonde nurse hurried to my side. I gratefully leaned into her and let her help me to a vacant wheelchair.

"I think... I think I'm in labour." I gasped. I felt the seat of the chair get wet. "And I think my water just b-broke."

"Okay, I'm going to call Labour and Delivery and get someone to take you there." The nurse hurried back to the nursing station and picked up the phone. I tried to hear what she was saying, but another contraction hit and I had to focus on panting for air and clutching my belly instead. I could make out 'membranes ruptured', 'Oncology' and 'husband post-op' but not much else.

"How far apart are your contractions?" She called to me.

"About... seven minutes." I hissed through clenched teeth.

"Seven minutes!" She repeated into the receiver.

Before I could even understand what was happening, I was moving again. Someone had arrived and was pushing me away.

"If my husband wakes up, can you tell him where I am?" I called back to the blonde nurse.

"Of course!" She replied. "Good luck!"

Now that I didn't have to worry about waking up Soseki, I had no inhibitions about crying out with pain. I hunched over my belly, rubbing at it to try and soothe the pressure and cramping, but it didn't work. Within minutes, we were on a brightly lit, very pink unit and I was being helped into a bed and someone was taking my clothes off and replacing them with a hospital gown. I cried out as another contraction came. A fetal heart rate monitor was attached to my enormous belly and someone else was sticking their fingers exactly where I wasn't appreciating it.

"You're about eight centimeters dilated, Miss Anya." The man dressed in green scrubs and a white lab coat told me as he ripped his latex gloves off. "Still a little while to go until we're ready to push."

I rode out the contraction and then flopped back down on the bed. As soon as I did, there was another nurse at my side, trying to start and IV.

It felt like forever, but I was told it was only an hour, when the doctor came back in to check my 'progress', as he called it.

"Alright, Anya. You are fully dilated, but the baby isn't coming. Now, we're going to give it a few minutes, but if it still isn't coming, we will have to perform a caesarean section. You will feel the urge to push, but don't push!" He explained.

"A C-section?!" I cried out.

"That's right." He replied. "We're hoping it doesn't come to that, but I need you to be prepared if that is what ends up happening."

At that, he left the room.

"The fetal heart rate is dropping!" Someone called. That freaked me right out. If I wasn't terrified before, I was now.

I couldn't lose my baby. I just couldn't. This baby was a source of so much hope for both Soseki and I. We couldn't lose it.

"Soseki." I moaned as a I felt a contraction come on. I needed my husband. Why hadn't I woken him up? Did he know yet? Or was he still blissfully unaware? I needed him at my side. I couldn't do this alone. What had I been thinking? Was I trying to be brave? Did he really need to sleep on what was definitely going to be one of the most important nights of his life?

Before I could process what the doctor had explained about the c-section, I was being wheeled away. Someone was putting an oxygen mask on my face and a hair covering over my head. Someone else thrust a pen and a clipboard in my hands and hastily explained it was a consent form for the surgery. Tears gathered in my eyes and I shakily signed my name.

I had to sit up when we got to the operating room and another doctor poked my back and my the lower half of my body went numb. I panicked, but nurses and doctors quickly assured me that this was normal.

"Where's Dad?" Someone asked. It took me a moment to realize that they were referring to Soseki.

"He's sleeping on the Oncology unit. Please don't wake him! He just had surgery!" I was already starting to feel loopy from the drugs in my system.

"Alright, Anya." A nurse came to my side and a blue sheet was raised in front of my face to prevent me from seeing what was going on. "We're about to get started."


	26. Matching

I don't remember much about the actual c-section. I sort of remember that it didn't hurt and the nurse who stood beside me and talked me through it. But the part I remember most clearly was the screaming of my newborn baby, the doctor calling over the curtain, "It's a girl!" and the moment he lifted my tiny, screaming daughter over the curtain so I could see her for the first time.

A few minutes later, after they had cut the umbilical cord and cleaned her up a bit, they brought her around, wrapped tightly in blankets with a pink cap on. She had stopped crying, mostly, and the nurse held her beside my face.

"Hello, baby girl." I whispered and kissed her small forehead before she was rushed away to the nursery, leaving me with the doctors who were stitching me back up.

"Six pounds, four ounces." The doctor told me. "Perfectly healthy. The nursery will take good care of her until you've recovered a bit."

They must have pushed something into my IV, because I don't remember anything after that. The next thing I knew, I was in a different ward, on my own.

"Where's my baby?" I asked softly, wondering if anyone could hear me.

"Anya, you're awake!" A nurse quickly rounded the corner with a blood pressure machine. She hooked me up quickly. "Your daughter is in the nursery, she's perfectly fine, she's doing really well. We'll take you and the baby to see your husband later, after you've had a chance to rest a bit."

My eyelids were so heavy. I understood exactly how Soseki must have felt after his surgery. As soon as the nurse was done, I was asleep again.

When I woke up again, there was a bassinet next to my bed with a nurse hunched over it, caring for the tiny baby inside.

"Is that my daughter?" I asked groggily, trying to pull myself up to a sitting position. It was painful, and I realized the incision was the cause after the task was done. Well, I'd have to be more gentle with myself for the next few days.

"It is." The nurse came to the bedside with the baby in her arms. "Would you like to hold her?"

I nodded wordlessly and held my arms out for my child. She placed her gently into my arms and I cradled her softly. She was awake and not fussing, for which I was grateful. I could make out her features a bit better now. She definitely had Soseki's pixie nose and high cheekbones. When I peeked under her cap, I noticed that she had also inherited his thick, brown hair. My eyes filled with tears as I looked at my daughter. I loved her so much already. I needed to bring her to Soseki.

"Can I take her to see my husband?" I asked the nurse, not even looking up from my daughter's face. My daughter. I have a daughter!

"How about we try breastfeeding first." The nurse stated more than asked. And then I realized just how much my breasts were aching.

Under the guidance of the nurse, I breastfed the baby for the first time. And when she was done feeding, the nurse taught me how to burp her properly. She also told me that she should go back to sleep within a couple hours after feeding, so we should go and see my husband now before she fell asleep.

I was helped into a wheelchair, with a bit of difficulty considering the c-section incision, but we made it. The nurse handed the baby to me again and I cradled her close as a porter wheeled me off the unit towards Oncology.

My heart was in my throat as we travelled. How much did Soseki know? I was sure the nurses on Oncology had told him that I was in labour, or that he had figured it out on his own when he woke up alone. But did he know that I had to go for a c-section? Did he know it was a little girl that we had? Did he know that we were both okay? I looked down into the tiny baby's eyes and I smiled. Everything was going to be okay.

I looked up and all of a sudden, we were in Soseki's room. But Soseki wasn't in the bed, he was standing at the other end of the room, staring out the window.

"Hello, Daddy." I called to him softly.

He whirled around and our eyes met. I smiled gently.

"Oh, Anya." He hurried over and knelt at my side. "I was so worried. They told me you had to go for a c-section and that the baby's heart rate was dropping..."

"Everything's okay, my love." I brought a hand to his cheek. "Come and meet your daughter."

"A girl?" He turned to look into our daughter's face. "We have a little girl?"

"Would you like to hold her?" I asked. He was already mesmerized by her tiny face. He nodded without saying anything and held his hands out. I placed her gently into his arms.

"She's so tiny!" He looked up at me after a few moments. His eyes and cheeks were wet and I realized that mine were too. "Little Eleanora. It suits her, don't you think?"

"Yes, I do." I smiled and stood up to move to his bed. He sat down beside me and we both looked into our daughter's face.

"She's got your ears, thank the Harvest Goddess! I always thought mine stuck out too much. And your beautiful green eyes. Oh Anya, she's so beautiful!"

I leaned into him, smiling contentedly.

"Hey, there Nora." He cooed, "I'm your Daddy. I've been waiting a while to meet you."

He stuck a finger out to her flailing hands, she grabbed it.

"She's strong!" He exclaimed and moved his other finger across her cheek. "And her skin's so soft!"

I leaned up and kissed him gently on the cheek.

"Oh, Anya. I'm so happy right now, you have no idea." He tore his gaze away from Nora's to look at me.

"I am too." I replied. He kissed me softly on the lips.

"Thank you so much for doing this." He breathed, his lips hanging a centimeter away from mine.

"I couldn't have done it without you!" I smiled. He chuckled.

"Look, we have matching IVs!" He commented, putting his hand with the IV in it on top of mine.

"And matching abdominal wounds." I lifted my gown to show him. He laughed.

"Probably not the best way to start a family, but I wouldn't have done it any other way." He said.

"I agree." I smiled down at Nora's face. She yawned and snuggled into her father's chest.

"She's so cute." He whispered as she closed her eyes and her breathing slowed. "Anya, I never thought I could ever be this happy. I don't know where I'd be if you hadn't showed up in my life. Probably miserable and dying somewhere. But now, I have a family, and another chance at life, and I have only you to thank for that." He bent down and captured my lips again.

"I didn't know I was looking for you until I found you." I told him. "But I'm so glad I decided to come to Echo Village. I could never have imagined I would be this happy."

Soseki wrapped an arm around me while he cradled our daughter with the other, holding us both close and I was positive he would never let go.


End file.
